4 ms·

Is family life elsewhere really all that better, or does it just have different problems?

jalapenos 2y ago
Both
rayiner 2y ago
I think elsewhere it’s better for the average person, but worse for a substantial minority of people. There’s probably a relatively small number of people in abusive situations that should cut contact with their families. And in a more traditional society they would be stuck in dangerous situations. But there’s probably a much larger number of people who cut-off contact over bridgeable differences, who would make a healthier choice in a society where they faced social pressure to do so.
tmottabr 2y ago
i will divert from the other and say that unless you experienced both it will be hard to say... i am from latin america where families keep closer contact trough life and that is all i have experienced personally.. I think you would need to experience both to say what is better and even then it will change from person to person.. But i can say that it does come with its share of problems..
sshine 2y ago
My Chinese mother-in-law just travelled back after spending 2,5 months with us in Europe. Of course there's a bit of tension living with another grown-up who has different rules. But it was transformative, my wife cried when she went back, and we both miss her. She'll be back in 3 months for another 3 months. Of course she will live with us when her health begins to fail. (It will be another 25-30 years.) And yes, there are different problems. But to discommunicate your parents is not an Asian thing.
- rayiner 2y ago
  Yes, my family is Bangladeshi and my parents live ten minutes away. We are over there multiple times a week with our kids and usually sleep over on Fridays. Similar story with my Bangladeshi relatives in Australia and Canada. We have a critical mass in Toronto and Sydney and everyone lives nearby (several families in the same apartment complex or the same subdivision) and are constantly visiting each other. We moved to America when I was six, and I grew up without family nearby, and I still mourn the loss of that connection.

Both

I think elsewhere it’s better for the average person, but worse for a substantial minority of people. There’s probably a relatively small number of people in abusive situations that should cut contact with their families. And in a more traditional society they would be stuck in dangerous situations. But there’s probably a much larger number of people who cut-off contact over bridgeable differences, who would make a healthier choice in a society where they faced social pressure to do so.

tmottabr 2y ago

i will divert from the other and say that unless you experienced both it will be hard to say... i am from latin america where families keep closer contact trough life and that is all i have experienced personally.. I think you would need to experience both to say what is better and even then it will change from person to person.. But i can say that it does come with its share of problems..

sshine 2y ago

My Chinese mother-in-law just travelled back after spending 2,5 months with us in Europe. Of course there's a bit of tension living with another grown-up who has different rules. But it was transformative, my wife cried when she went back, and we both miss her. She'll be back in 3 months for another 3 months. Of course she will live with us when her health begins to fail. (It will be another 25-30 years.) And yes, there are different problems. But to discommunicate your parents is not an Asian thing.

rayiner 2y ago
Yes, my family is Bangladeshi and my parents live ten minutes away. We are over there multiple times a week with our kids and usually sleep over on Fridays. Similar story with my Bangladeshi relatives in Australia and Canada. We have a critical mass in Toronto and Sydney and everyone lives nearby (several families in the same apartment complex or the same subdivision) and are constantly visiting each other. We moved to America when I was six, and I grew up without family nearby, and I still mourn the loss of that connection.