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A 401k won't check up on you when you're old and alone, a few good children will. Have kids, and raise them well.
by brink 2y ago
A 401k won't check up on you when you're old and alone, a few good children will. Have kids, and raise them well.
- abound 2y agoI don't think dead people care how long they've been dead before they're found. It's unpleasant to think about dead bodies sitting around, but ultimately not their biggest problem. If your argument is "have children so someone will check on you when you're old", I'd argue that bringing sentient beings into the world for just that purpose is a bit overkill. Other options include: being part of a strong community, living in some sort of communal place for elderly folk, or even just some sort of basic health monitoring that can alert emergency services if something looks off. Adopting is also an option if you're really sold on the "sentient beings" thing.
- pavel_lishin 2y ago> I don't think dead people care how long they've been dead before they're found. It's unpleasant to think about dead bodies sitting around, but ultimately not their biggest problem. I think one unspoken assumption is that if someone is checking in with you regularly, they might actually find you before you die, and either call an ambulance to help you, or notice that something might be a problem before it becomes severe.
- abound 2y agoAgreed, and I tried to address that with my suggested alternatives, all of which would also find you in such circumstances. Mostly just noting that creating humans solely for the purpose of caring for you in old age is a fairly nuclear option.
- pavel_lishin 2y agoIs that why they call it a nuclear family? :)
- hilux 2y agoNot sure about "solely," but what you describe is actually a mainstream concept in many cultures. The US and other individualistic Western countries are probably the exception.
- BeFlatXIII 2y ago> The US and other individualistic Western countries are probably the exception. It's probably because the areas of greatest economic opportunity keep shifting, so children don't end up in the same city as their parents to care for them.
- AmericanChopper 2y agoI always thought the main issue this was exposing is that if it takes months for anybody to notice you’ve died, then you must have been living a rather sad life at the time.
- pavel_lishin 2y agoMaybe, but a solitary life doesn't have to be a sad one.
- amanaplanacanal 2y agoI’ve lived alone, and I’ve lived with the right people, and I’ve lived with the wrong people. Living with the right people was good. Living alone was perfectly fine. Living with the wrong people was hellish.
- AmericanChopper 2y agoIf you live a life so isolated from other people that you can die and nobody notices for months, you are either living a sad life, or you’re highly socially dysfunctional.
- DiggyJohnson 2y agoAgreed. It's not exactly a nice thing to say or think about but it's obviously true in the general case. I'd be curious about the perspective of those that disagree.
- DiggyJohnson 2y agoI'm not sure if you realize what it seems like you're advocating for: solitary life and dying alone. Having biological children because you want biological children is not as nuts as you seem to imply.
- pavel_lishin 2y agoI'm not trying to imply that, and I have children.
- eloisant 2y agoYou're assuming that they died quickly and peacefully. How many died after breaking their leg and starving alone on their floor?
- newzisforsukas 2y agoWho knows, but its probably a very small percentage if you look at the causes of death for people over 65 in Japan.
- BriggyDwiggs42 2y agoStarving takes a long time, i kinda figure almost anyone would crawl to the front door in that time
- deleted 2y ago[deleted]
- aprilthird2021 2y agoI think the general argument is have kids so you don't leach off someone else's when you're old and take more from society than you contribute.
- grraaaaahhh 2y agoI've never understood this argument. Caregivers are paid; it's a job. No one is forced to go into elderly care. Having kids isn't even a guarantee that they'll be around to care for you in your old age. My grandparents had four and still needed to be moved to a home with a full time carer at the end because none of their kids were able to move back home to take care of them.
- aprilthird2021 2y agoIt's not about caring for you, it's, in cynical terms, about building the future tax base to maintain the infrastructure you will utilize in your old age. Every Western society has the elderly using more resources than they contribute, esp. regarding healthcare. Some even use more resources than they ever earned in life. I know it's horribly cynical, but if you don't have kids then go on Medicare then rack up a huge bill, you've basically burdened a smaller next generation with a higher tax bill and basically are setting up a Japan 2.0
- iggldiggl 2y agoIt probably still holds on the level of the whole society. Modern society and division of labour means it doesn't have to be specifically your kids who care for your, but it still need to be somebody's kids. If nobody had kids any more, nobody would be left to provide any care, paid or not. Plus it's not just about really literal full-on elderly care, but also simply keeping society running even when you're old enough that you can no longer actively contribute your share as much.
- deleted 2y ago[deleted]
- pavel_lishin 2y agoDiversify your portfolio! Don't rely on just your kids, who are likely to move abroad, start families of their own, etc. Make sure you have friends and local people in your community who value your time as well.
- whym 2y agoVarious businesses provide paid service called 見守りサービス to have someone (or a machine) check up on you. The idea is to detect health emergencies early enough and act on getting help, in case family members and neighbors can't. Not that that is the best option, but at least money can help to some extent.
- xenospn 2y agoEven an automated phone call service to make sure someone picks up. I’m surprised it isn’t a thing.
- 0cf8612b2e1e 2y agoWellness checks are a thing that come in various flavors.
- newzisforsukas 2y agoOr don't care if no one finds you when you're dead. What does it matter if someone finds you in a day or a month? You are dead. Not having many close relationships when you die is probably a better net benefit. People are crushed when their parents pass.
- dagw 2y agoWhat does it matter if someone finds you in a day or a month? People don't always go from fine to dead in an instant. There can be a period of days when you are still alive, but incapable of calling for help. If you were found in that period you wouldn't necessarily have to end up dead.
- amanaplanacanal 2y agoDo they still advertise life-alert on tv? “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
- BowBun 2y agoMy great aunt had 6 children, and arguably raised them alright. They had all moved on with their lives and she died alone. My grandma and I were the only family that spent even a little time with her. There is no solution for growing old and dying.
- silverquiet 2y agoYeah, a lot of people will talk about being afraid of dying alone, but I'm pretty much just afraid of dying. The circumstances of my death are really just a light seasoning compared to the main fare that is the terror of that death itself.
- neom 2y agoOut of sheer curiosity, have you always felt this way or was it a getting older thing for you?
- silverquiet 2y agoI was under the impression that the fear of death is a near universal instinct amongst living things, but humans, given our unique intelligence may know the fear of it better than any other animal because we understand that it is coming for us all. Personally, I was around seven years old when I realized that there was no god and it meant that death would be the end of my consciousness. It probably didn't help that I had an operation about that time using general anesthesia which effectively turned my brain off for a few hours and showed me what it might mean to be dead for a short time - a period in which I was not present and formed no memories, and what it would mean to be dead for an infinite time. I was not a particularly easy-going child after that.
- layer8 2y agoWhile I would like to live essentially forever, I wasn’t ever really terrified of death. It’s more like a regret or melancholy that that’s how physical reality works. Maybe readings like https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8579608 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8579608 could improve your coping with the outlook.
- ryzvonusef 2y agoI can't have kids. Dying alone is my fate, nothing I can do about it. ____ It's something I think about a lot. I have siblings and niblings, but I live in a 3rd world country and my goal in life is to escape to some first world country. If I escape, I will die alone abroad; but while I live, I'll be able to make my life and the life of my loved ones better. If I stay, I might be able to count on my nephews/nieces to check on me in old age...but depending on how life goes and what the economic conditions are, it's much more likely that... Not only do I live a terrible life, but when I am old and my siblings dead, my niblings will ignore me, unable to take care of another burden, nor would I want to be such a burden on them. Which lends me back to option 1: go abroad... then maybe retire back here? But then I would have no connection, and nor would they have one with me. _____ I'v seen this happen here a lot. A lot of people I know lived their lives in the Gulf... used to a certain standard of living and having barely any connection to the relatives back home. They educated their kids and sent then to uni in 1st world countries, while they retired to big palatial homes here. But now they are alone, their kids have no reason to come back after uni to the big 3rd world homes their fathers built... and the relatives here have no connection to the uncle/aunt from the gulf they saw once every three years. The kids are alone abroad, the parents are alone here. No one wins.
- layer8 2y agoYou could adopt a child once you live abroad.
- DiggyJohnson 2y agoHow familiar are you with adoption in the first world? Single, older gentleman do not usually get approved or have the resources to adopt. Being an immigrant probably doesn't help, either.
- layer8 2y agoI was assuming he’d be neither single nor old. Otherwise he shouldn’t have a child anyway.
- fennecfoxy 2y agoNah, still don't want kids.
- probably_wrong 2y agoI've been trying, but it turns out that finding a woman willing to marry and have children (aka "postpone her career goals") with an introverted immigrant who hates bars is not as straightforward as I thought.
- yimmothathird 2y ago[flagged]