4 ms·

Me : I’ve given you a chance before, I hoped we could discuss this privately, resolve this matter, and keep this family going. Now it seems like I’ve overestima

Me : I’ve given you a chance before, I hoped we could discuss this privately, resolve this matter, and keep this family going. Now it seems like I’ve overestimated you. Sad story, but this guy really needs someone around him to give him a reality check and say this behavior by his wife isn’t acceptable and something you “discuss privately to keep your family together.”

refurb 2y ago
[flagged]
- themaninthedark 2y ago
  [flagged]
  - refurb 2y ago
    Factual observation or hypothesizing is not victim blaming. You clearly have some sort of agenda with this comment.
    - themaninthedark 2y ago
      There are other comments, dead, that talk about the wife having a "female body part" pass because she is not sitting in jail. Those comments are just hypothesizing but add nothing to the conversation. Is not hypothesizing when you say it is "clear this guy is an abusive relationship. Your wife doesn’t up and poison you one day." You are accusing the guy of committing a serious crime because he was poisoned, unless you have some additional information that was not in the article I am not sure how you can reach that conclusion. There are many reasons someone's wife could poison them, aside from abuse; insurance money, having a boyfriend that you wish to elope with but fear the cultural stigma of divorce, psychosis. My only agenda is to drive exploration of ideas rather than just making blanket statements where we have no evidence to make a determination.
      - CRConrad 2y ago
        > You are accusing the guy of committing a serious crime because he was poisoned Yeah, that proves you read the comment you replied to further up the wrong way around. There was no "victim blaming" in saying "this guy is [in] an abusive relationship"; they obviously meant it was the wife who'd been abusing him for years. The only serious crime anyone had been talking about was her poisoning him, which was just another step in the abuse. > My only agenda is to drive exploration of ideas... Maybe you should begin with the basics, like learning to read better, before going on to the more advanced stuff.
      - Vecr 2y ago
        I think some of the posters here might be confused, I think refurb is trying to say the wife was abusive, not him.
      - refurb 2y ago
        Typo. “Clearly the guy is in an abusive relationship” How on earth do you assume I was claiming the guy was abusive from an obvious typo?
        themaninthedark 2y ago
        Sorry, I did misread your comment. I think it was a mix of the typo and also the passive voice rather than the active voice eg. He is in an abusive relationship vs. He is being abused or She is abusing him.
  - pvaldes 2y ago
    People should defend more their right to formulate hypotheses
  - mft_ 2y ago
    I think you've maybe misread his comment.
gizajob 2y ago
Yes absolutely. I thought the same thing reading that part. We’re miles past the point of negotiations of this kind after what has happened.
vasco 2y ago
I read this as just fishing for an admission to help his case. By this point he has recordings and he realised the family is over. He already went to police. I don't think he was trying to make any amends. She clearly thought the same thing I did. Your reading of this seems a bit too shallow or you think is he more naive than he is.
- keiferski 2y ago
  I guess that’s possible, but I didn’t get the impression from reading the post that the author was being deceptive in that exchange. He just seems a bit shocked and still cares about someone that is/was obviously important in his life. That seems like a more normal reaction to me than assuming he had a deeper ulterior motive of trying to get her to reveal something via text (which was already in the video evidence.) To me the tone of the post is more shock and disappointment, not legal scheming.
miningape 2y ago
Kind of a common attitude in Asian / Chinese relationships, business, friends, love. Where it's better to save face and not let the entire world know about your issue, in this context the authors reaction starts to make sense. He is interested in saving face and his family - and doing so requires keeping everything behind closed doors.
- keiferski 2y ago
  But this text exchange was already after he had gone to the police.
pvaldes 2y ago
Both were pretending to be acting civilized. He send an amicable offer to explain and save time but that could support him in the divorce process later. She was on full oyster defense mode. All her answers can be resumed to "See? police will be unable to prove anything","It was a good faith mistake". But no remorse shown by all the pain inflicted. Pretending it was nothing; bitter about the divorce, and in denial, dissociating herself from the case all the time an living in her parallel version of the reality. Unfortunately some passive aggressive people acts like this. This man should run away as fast as he can.

refurb 2y ago

[flagged]

themaninthedark 2y ago
[flagged]
- refurb 2y ago
  Factual observation or hypothesizing is not victim blaming. You clearly have some sort of agenda with this comment.
  - themaninthedark 2y ago
    There are other comments, dead, that talk about the wife having a "female body part" pass because she is not sitting in jail. Those comments are just hypothesizing but add nothing to the conversation. Is not hypothesizing when you say it is "clear this guy is an abusive relationship. Your wife doesn’t up and poison you one day." You are accusing the guy of committing a serious crime because he was poisoned, unless you have some additional information that was not in the article I am not sure how you can reach that conclusion. There are many reasons someone's wife could poison them, aside from abuse; insurance money, having a boyfriend that you wish to elope with but fear the cultural stigma of divorce, psychosis. My only agenda is to drive exploration of ideas rather than just making blanket statements where we have no evidence to make a determination.
    - CRConrad 2y ago
      > You are accusing the guy of committing a serious crime because he was poisoned Yeah, that proves you read the comment you replied to further up the wrong way around. There was no "victim blaming" in saying "this guy is [in] an abusive relationship"; they obviously meant it was the wife who'd been abusing him for years. The only serious crime anyone had been talking about was her poisoning him, which was just another step in the abuse. > My only agenda is to drive exploration of ideas... Maybe you should begin with the basics, like learning to read better, before going on to the more advanced stuff.
    - Vecr 2y ago
      I think some of the posters here might be confused, I think refurb is trying to say the wife was abusive, not him.
    - refurb 2y ago
      Typo. “Clearly the guy is in an abusive relationship” How on earth do you assume I was claiming the guy was abusive from an obvious typo?
      - themaninthedark 2y ago
        Sorry, I did misread your comment. I think it was a mix of the typo and also the passive voice rather than the active voice eg. He is in an abusive relationship vs. He is being abused or She is abusing him.
- pvaldes 2y ago
  People should defend more their right to formulate hypotheses
- mft_ 2y ago
  I think you've maybe misread his comment.

gizajob 2y ago

Yes absolutely. I thought the same thing reading that part. We’re miles past the point of negotiations of this kind after what has happened.

vasco 2y ago

I read this as just fishing for an admission to help his case. By this point he has recordings and he realised the family is over. He already went to police. I don't think he was trying to make any amends. She clearly thought the same thing I did. Your reading of this seems a bit too shallow or you think is he more naive than he is.

keiferski 2y ago
I guess that’s possible, but I didn’t get the impression from reading the post that the author was being deceptive in that exchange. He just seems a bit shocked and still cares about someone that is/was obviously important in his life. That seems like a more normal reaction to me than assuming he had a deeper ulterior motive of trying to get her to reveal something via text (which was already in the video evidence.) To me the tone of the post is more shock and disappointment, not legal scheming.

miningape 2y ago

Kind of a common attitude in Asian / Chinese relationships, business, friends, love. Where it's better to save face and not let the entire world know about your issue, in this context the authors reaction starts to make sense. He is interested in saving face and his family - and doing so requires keeping everything behind closed doors.

keiferski 2y ago
But this text exchange was already after he had gone to the police.

pvaldes 2y ago

Both were pretending to be acting civilized. He send an amicable offer to explain and save time but that could support him in the divorce process later. She was on full oyster defense mode. All her answers can be resumed to "See? police will be unable to prove anything","It was a good faith mistake". But no remorse shown by all the pain inflicted. Pretending it was nothing; bitter about the divorce, and in denial, dissociating herself from the case all the time an living in her parallel version of the reality. Unfortunately some passive aggressive people acts like this. This man should run away as fast as he can.