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For what it's worth, I'm not sure this is a mental breakdown, and it might give the wrong impression to people who do legitimately suffer breakdowns related to

For what it's worth, I'm not sure this is a mental breakdown, and it might give the wrong impression to people who do legitimately suffer breakdowns related to stress about tech. For me it's only happened once. It was an anxiety attack, and I'm very lucky my wife was there to talk me through it and help me understand what was happening. She's had them many times, but it was my first (and thankfully only). It turns out that this sort of thing happens to people, and that there's nothing wrong with it. It doesn't mean you're defective or weak. That's a really important point to internalize. Xanax is worth having on hand, since that was what finally ended it for me and I was able to drift off to sleep. I guess my point is, there's a difference between having intrusive thoughts vs something that debilitates you and that you legitimately can't control, such as an anxiety attack or a panic attack. You won't be getting any work done if those happen, and that's ok.

hughes 2y ago
Yeah I was actually disappointed to find an article about a routine dependency debugging story. I've felt on the precipice of a breakdown a few times before and was really hoping this would be a more relevant article.
mynameisvlad 2y ago
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-nervous-breakdown https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-nervous-breakdown Not all breakdowns come in the form of panic and anxiety attacks. Those are certainly a way that breakdowns can manifest, but it’s not the only way. Stress manifests in wildly different ways for different people and even stressors. You weren’t in his head, experiencing what he was experiencing, so it’s pretty much impossible to “diagnose” from the outside. It certainly sounds like he was functionally paralyzed for hours, even if he didn’t have a full blown panic attack.
- sillysaurusx 2y ago
  That's a good point. I didn't mean to gatekeep, which is what I ended up doing. Thank you. If he was functionally paralyzed for hours, then that absolutely qualifies. I was reading through it and thinking "If you can debug stuff, you're probably not having a mental breakdown" and wanted to highlight that some people do break down (which is why it's called a breakdown) and that it's ok.
  - samus 2y ago
    If they were staying up for hours debugging, then they were also probably too tired to see the forest for the trees anymore. Simple exhaustion is sufficient to cause people to go on autopilot and follow trails that lead nowhere, or to just stare at nothing for minutes. Unless it's about life or death (or financial ruin), it's smarter to call it a day in such a situation. Or to at least do a powernap.
justinclift 2y ago
> Xanax is worth having on hand Doing a search online seems to indicate that Xanax can be addictive? https://www.drugs.com/xanax.html https://www.drugs.com/xanax.html Doesn't seem to be the kind of thing to take lightly?
- sillysaurusx 2y ago
  You're correct. Don't take it lightly. But have it on hand for an emergency, if you're prone to panic or anxiety attacks. Those are relatively rare, so you shouldn't end up taking it at a frequency where addiction can manifest. But everyone's different; keep open communications with your doctor.
- caseyy 2y ago
  Doesn’t usually cause addiction if used in emergencies only and quite a few people in tech do. I do feel more stressed 12-24 hours after taking benzos though. This leads some people to take a higher dose and you can see where that leads. But no, no addiction in me or anyone I know using it “as needed”. Some doctors prescribe it daily for a long period of time, which is reckless if other drugs are available for the same problem, like sertraline for anxiety. But then, some doctors prescribe oxy for pain when ibuprofen will do. Malicious stuff. All the addiction warnings are to steer people away from these drugs in these scenarios. Benzos 3x a day for a month will be tough to shake. Benzos 3x a month to 3x a year — hard to imagine problems with that.
- mattmcegg 2y ago
  [dead]
- StefanBatory 2y ago
  I think it's just a default warning; any drug can me. I am taking Sertraline for anxiety and even while I went through it with my psychiatrist about if it can be addictive (his statement was - no, not really - and for me that was true, I was able to stop taking it without any side effects), there's still that risk. As with any medical thing, better consult it with a specialist anyway.
  - 2y ago
Der_Einzige 2y ago
One thing I did not expect about working in enterprise tech companies was the amount of coworkers who popped Xanax regularly. I've been an anxiety basket case my whole life and the idea that an addictive pill could take it all away terrifies me - I'd be hooked for life.
- digging 2y ago
  > I'd be hooked for life. I mean, that's how a lot of prescriptions work anyway. I take daily medication to prevent anxiety and depression. It's not addictive, but I try pretty hard to never miss a day, because anxiety and depression will get in the way of me living my life. Assuming Xanax is safe to take daily (I have no idea), the only difference is that a supply disruption would have side-effects. But if I run out of my medication, I'll get depressed within weeks, almost guaranteed, withdrawals or no.
  - kayodelycaon 2y ago
    Xanax is safe short term, but extremely addictive if taken for too long (~1 month?).
- supportengineer 2y ago
  It's hard to compete against the people who are "enhanced" with drugs.
  - nozzlegear 2y ago
    I used to occasionally take Xanax for [health] anxiety myself. It doesn't have that kind of effect, it's like a sedative.
- kayodelycaon 2y ago
  It depends on the type of anxiety and how you're using the medication. If you it routinely to handle everyday stress, you're heading down a very bad road. If you have events a few times a year that are extremely stressful, medication can really make a difference. I had the same fears and I'm not gonna say you should try medication, but I will share it my psychiatrist did. She wouldn't let me have more fifteen low-dose pills at any one time. Consider your relationship with alcohol. If you already have a problem with it or completely abstain from it, I would strongly recommend avoiding medication.
zer8k 2y ago
I shouldn't have to drug myself to cope with the stress of constantly half-assed released, features getting pushed in without thought, and 3AM pagerduty alarms because of these things. We will likely see a large cohort of people who got into tech in the mid 2000s dying off from stress related disease.
- xxr 2y ago
  My wife is a critical care nurse, and she used to work at a hospital in an area with a lot of tech workers about five years ago. She saw a lot of heart attacks in men in their late thirties and early forties that she rarely saw elsewhere.

hughes 2y ago

Yeah I was actually disappointed to find an article about a routine dependency debugging story. I've felt on the precipice of a breakdown a few times before and was really hoping this would be a more relevant article.

mynameisvlad 2y ago

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-nervous-breakdown https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-nervous-breakdown Not all breakdowns come in the form of panic and anxiety attacks. Those are certainly a way that breakdowns can manifest, but it’s not the only way. Stress manifests in wildly different ways for different people and even stressors. You weren’t in his head, experiencing what he was experiencing, so it’s pretty much impossible to “diagnose” from the outside. It certainly sounds like he was functionally paralyzed for hours, even if he didn’t have a full blown panic attack.

sillysaurusx 2y ago
That's a good point. I didn't mean to gatekeep, which is what I ended up doing. Thank you. If he was functionally paralyzed for hours, then that absolutely qualifies. I was reading through it and thinking "If you can debug stuff, you're probably not having a mental breakdown" and wanted to highlight that some people do break down (which is why it's called a breakdown) and that it's ok.
- samus 2y ago
  If they were staying up for hours debugging, then they were also probably too tired to see the forest for the trees anymore. Simple exhaustion is sufficient to cause people to go on autopilot and follow trails that lead nowhere, or to just stare at nothing for minutes. Unless it's about life or death (or financial ruin), it's smarter to call it a day in such a situation. Or to at least do a powernap.

justinclift 2y ago

> Xanax is worth having on hand Doing a search online seems to indicate that Xanax can be addictive? https://www.drugs.com/xanax.html https://www.drugs.com/xanax.html Doesn't seem to be the kind of thing to take lightly?

sillysaurusx 2y ago
You're correct. Don't take it lightly. But have it on hand for an emergency, if you're prone to panic or anxiety attacks. Those are relatively rare, so you shouldn't end up taking it at a frequency where addiction can manifest. But everyone's different; keep open communications with your doctor.
caseyy 2y ago
Doesn’t usually cause addiction if used in emergencies only and quite a few people in tech do. I do feel more stressed 12-24 hours after taking benzos though. This leads some people to take a higher dose and you can see where that leads. But no, no addiction in me or anyone I know using it “as needed”. Some doctors prescribe it daily for a long period of time, which is reckless if other drugs are available for the same problem, like sertraline for anxiety. But then, some doctors prescribe oxy for pain when ibuprofen will do. Malicious stuff. All the addiction warnings are to steer people away from these drugs in these scenarios. Benzos 3x a day for a month will be tough to shake. Benzos 3x a month to 3x a year — hard to imagine problems with that.
mattmcegg 2y ago
[dead]
StefanBatory 2y ago
I think it's just a default warning; any drug can me. I am taking Sertraline for anxiety and even while I went through it with my psychiatrist about if it can be addictive (his statement was - no, not really - and for me that was true, I was able to stop taking it without any side effects), there's still that risk. As with any medical thing, better consult it with a specialist anyway.
- 2y ago

Der_Einzige 2y ago

One thing I did not expect about working in enterprise tech companies was the amount of coworkers who popped Xanax regularly. I've been an anxiety basket case my whole life and the idea that an addictive pill could take it all away terrifies me - I'd be hooked for life.

digging 2y ago
> I'd be hooked for life. I mean, that's how a lot of prescriptions work anyway. I take daily medication to prevent anxiety and depression. It's not addictive, but I try pretty hard to never miss a day, because anxiety and depression will get in the way of me living my life. Assuming Xanax is safe to take daily (I have no idea), the only difference is that a supply disruption would have side-effects. But if I run out of my medication, I'll get depressed within weeks, almost guaranteed, withdrawals or no.
- kayodelycaon 2y ago
  Xanax is safe short term, but extremely addictive if taken for too long (~1 month?).
supportengineer 2y ago
It's hard to compete against the people who are "enhanced" with drugs.
- nozzlegear 2y ago
  I used to occasionally take Xanax for [health] anxiety myself. It doesn't have that kind of effect, it's like a sedative.
kayodelycaon 2y ago
It depends on the type of anxiety and how you're using the medication. If you it routinely to handle everyday stress, you're heading down a very bad road. If you have events a few times a year that are extremely stressful, medication can really make a difference. I had the same fears and I'm not gonna say you should try medication, but I will share it my psychiatrist did. She wouldn't let me have more fifteen low-dose pills at any one time. Consider your relationship with alcohol. If you already have a problem with it or completely abstain from it, I would strongly recommend avoiding medication.

zer8k 2y ago

I shouldn't have to drug myself to cope with the stress of constantly half-assed released, features getting pushed in without thought, and 3AM pagerduty alarms because of these things. We will likely see a large cohort of people who got into tech in the mid 2000s dying off from stress related disease.

xxr 2y ago
My wife is a critical care nurse, and she used to work at a hospital in an area with a lot of tech workers about five years ago. She saw a lot of heart attacks in men in their late thirties and early forties that she rarely saw elsewhere.