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Anecdotally, being social when I would rather not doesn't make me as miserable as those who are alone, when they would rather not be. So I can see our relative

Anecdotally, being social when I would rather not doesn't make me as miserable as those who are alone, when they would rather not be. So I can see our relative smaller boost in happiness being outweighed by the utter misery of others.

steve1977 2y ago
That’s interesting. I’m very introverted I think. Being social when I would rather not (which is most of the time) makes me very miserable. To the point of being depressed.
- MattGaiser 2y ago
  Do you end up crying day after day, using drugs, dropping out of school, etc though? As loneliness does that to people. It is not that it is mildly painful for introverts to socialize when they do not want to, but rather that loneliness can be extremely painful.
  - FloorEgg 2y ago
    In the most extreme acute situations I have broken down to tears purely from over-stimulation from socializing. Specifically when attending conferences for work. (I am an introvert). After a day of intense socializing I will go back to a hotel room and cry, while other people go to after parties. As far as depression, drugs, etc. I haven't been under this pressure chronically so I can't speak from personal experience. That said, I suspect that for introverts in even the most extreme chronic social pressures it would be more feasible for them to escape to some quiet place to recharge, than it would be for an extrovert who has no social connection living in isolation to find sufficient connection to recharge. In theory, it's far more practical to manifest solitude than it is to manifest a party.
  - steve1977 2y ago
    Crying sometimes yes, also having sleep problems before social gatherings for example. Drugs no, although I did tend to numb myself during social interactions with alcohol (not drinking any alcohol anymore, but also have reduced social interactions). I‘m not saying loneliness cannot be terrible, don’t get me wrong. I guess involuntary anything can be terrible.
  - creata 2y ago
    > Do you end up crying day after day, using drugs, dropping out of school, etc though? Two out of three, yes, as a direct result of a desire not to interact with others. While loneliness can be extremely painful, so too can anxiety.
    - consteval 2y ago
      I think it can be a cycle. As in, the less you do something the more anxiety you have towards it. I think forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations and turning those into routine can help anxiety.

steve1977 2y ago

That’s interesting. I’m very introverted I think. Being social when I would rather not (which is most of the time) makes me very miserable. To the point of being depressed.

MattGaiser 2y ago
Do you end up crying day after day, using drugs, dropping out of school, etc though? As loneliness does that to people. It is not that it is mildly painful for introverts to socialize when they do not want to, but rather that loneliness can be extremely painful.
- FloorEgg 2y ago
  In the most extreme acute situations I have broken down to tears purely from over-stimulation from socializing. Specifically when attending conferences for work. (I am an introvert). After a day of intense socializing I will go back to a hotel room and cry, while other people go to after parties. As far as depression, drugs, etc. I haven't been under this pressure chronically so I can't speak from personal experience. That said, I suspect that for introverts in even the most extreme chronic social pressures it would be more feasible for them to escape to some quiet place to recharge, than it would be for an extrovert who has no social connection living in isolation to find sufficient connection to recharge. In theory, it's far more practical to manifest solitude than it is to manifest a party.
- steve1977 2y ago
  Crying sometimes yes, also having sleep problems before social gatherings for example. Drugs no, although I did tend to numb myself during social interactions with alcohol (not drinking any alcohol anymore, but also have reduced social interactions). I‘m not saying loneliness cannot be terrible, don’t get me wrong. I guess involuntary anything can be terrible.
- creata 2y ago
  > Do you end up crying day after day, using drugs, dropping out of school, etc though? Two out of three, yes, as a direct result of a desire not to interact with others. While loneliness can be extremely painful, so too can anxiety.
  - consteval 2y ago
    I think it can be a cycle. As in, the less you do something the more anxiety you have towards it. I think forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations and turning those into routine can help anxiety.