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Except it's not. Abusive relationships begin based on trust, and then go bad as the abuser sets into their patterns. They're hard to break because they started
by kstenerud 2y ago
Except it's not. Abusive relationships begin based on trust, and then go bad as the abuser sets into their patterns. They're hard to break because they started off so (seemingly) well, and the victim starts second-guessing that maybe it was they who triggered this bad behavior (thus, they stay to try to fix it). It's also harder to break off something that you've invested so much into already.
That's not at all the same thing as someone who starts off with a violent or threatening act.
- doe_eyes 2y agoAbove all, people often stay in abusive relationships because of what they think is a rational analysis of the trade-offs. There are concerns about financial stability, uprooting your children's lives, losing friends, etc. In reality, the calculation tends to underestimate the risk of staying and overestimate the risk of leaving. But this is not unique to the victims of domestic abuse. It's the same reason people stick to bad jobs, depressing but non-abusive relationships, etc.