4 ms·

> If someone sees the world like you are suggesting, they are not intelligent enough to date. I want a partner, not a pet. That seems super dismissive and disr

> If someone sees the world like you are suggesting, they are not intelligent enough to date. I want a partner, not a pet. That seems super dismissive and disrespectful. Honestly HN is usually better than this. Being politically aligned is nothing like “wanting a pet” wtf. If anything it’s more equitable that you are aligned on your values whatever they might be. I have no idea how you can fail to recognise that a polarised two party system draws some pretty hard lines along your value system. Would you date a republican who supports removing abortion rights for women, would you date a tory who supports privatising vital public services for personal gain of the few? (Note I’ve used right wing policy's but you can pull left wing examples of this as well). > weird is an important dating requirement for me ;-) This is such a strange thing to say, you’re not quirky or more interesting for having written this, I have no idea why you would write that on HN.

_yb2s 2y ago
You misunderstood everything I wrote. An intelligent person that is actually taking effective action according to their values doesn't see things in simple black and white political ideologies. Dating someone that sees the world so simply would be like dating a child or having a pet, not having an actual partner. Values and actions are important to me, political affiliations are not. Smart people that share my values don't have values that reduce to a simple political ideology or party. There is no nice way to say this- because you are saying you see the world this way, and I am saying anyone that sees the world that was is either naive or stupid. I don't mean to insult you or your views, but that's how I see it. I don't blame you if you find it insulting and are upset at me. For example, my fiancee and I work in totally different fields but both care a lot about climate change, and have developed solutions to mitigate its impacts. Both of us have received substantial financial and political support and work daily with people from "both sides" to make this work possible. A lot of conservatives care deeply about things like reducing foreign oil dependence, protecting farms and fisheries, and preventing climate related property damage- and are willing to spend big money on solving those problems. > you’re not quirky or more interesting for having written this, I have no idea why you would write that on HN It's the simple truth, I'm someone that doesn't really try to "fit in" so I'm seen as weird by people that do, and I get along better with other people like that.
- lotsofpulp 2y ago
  >Values and actions are important to me, political affiliations are not. Voting is an action. If my partner (or anyone else) tells me they are going to vote for the person headlining a goal of taking away my daughter's ability to get healthcare, then they move into the category of people who want to harm my children.
  - _yb2s 2y ago
    You are misunderstanding me in the same way the above poster is. Both you and them seem so obsessed with the idea of blind us vs them partisan politics, you can’t even comprehend that there are people that don’t think that way. It’s not that I would date someone with “opposing” partisan affiliation, but that I won’t date anyone that sees the world through a lens of politics instead of real issues they can solve with creativity and an open mind. If my/our kid was going to lose healthcare and all they did was vote for the latest liar that says the same old idea will solve that problem- they are either ignorant, or don’t actually care. The whole thing is largely a game people play to avoid guilt of not actually doing anything about the things they claim to care about… and is deeply encouraged in media and on social media to the point that people don’t even notice how absurd it is. Almost every older “boomer” that I know has their brain so infected with this they do nothing but watch TV and rant about politics… and of course take zero action besides voting- which shows the only care about the us vs them conflict and don’t actually care about any issues enough to do something real about them. I miss these people, sometimes it feels like they died because there is nothing left to their previous personalities. They take no actions, no risks, and have no ideas of their own anymore.
    - lotsofpulp 2y ago
      >but that I won’t date anyone that sees the world through a lens of politics instead of real issues they can solve with creativity and an open mind. Politics is the mechanism for solving real issues. It’s war without violence. > If my/our kid was going to lose healthcare and all they did was vote for the latest liar that says the same old idea will solve that problem- they are either ignorant, or don’t actually care. This is trivializing the work of countless civil rights activities (who may have also been elected leaders). Those “latest liars” and the people who voted for them contributed to slavery being abolished, women’s suffrage, civil rights, women’s healthcare rights, cannabis legalization, etc. > The whole thing is largely a game people play to avoid guilt of not actually doing anything about the things they claim to care about… and is deeply encouraged in media and on social media to the point that people don’t even notice how absurd it is. I have participated in numerous political campaigns, canvassed, even ran and held some local positions. We got things like paid parental leave, paid sick leave, and increases in minimum wages and exempt salaries passed. It is us vs them. I’m okay with debating things like tax policy or government spending or city planning or environmental concerns. That deal with shared resources that requires a compromise. I draw the line at violating my kids’ civil rights for no reason. Her body is not a shared resource, so there is zero need to compromise, and there is zero justification for someone else’s morals to come between a doctor and my daughter’s health. This is not even getting into supporting things like baseless election fraud claims and Jan 6 attacks on the democratic process.

_yb2s 2y ago

You misunderstood everything I wrote. An intelligent person that is actually taking effective action according to their values doesn't see things in simple black and white political ideologies. Dating someone that sees the world so simply would be like dating a child or having a pet, not having an actual partner. Values and actions are important to me, political affiliations are not. Smart people that share my values don't have values that reduce to a simple political ideology or party. There is no nice way to say this- because you are saying you see the world this way, and I am saying anyone that sees the world that was is either naive or stupid. I don't mean to insult you or your views, but that's how I see it. I don't blame you if you find it insulting and are upset at me. For example, my fiancee and I work in totally different fields but both care a lot about climate change, and have developed solutions to mitigate its impacts. Both of us have received substantial financial and political support and work daily with people from "both sides" to make this work possible. A lot of conservatives care deeply about things like reducing foreign oil dependence, protecting farms and fisheries, and preventing climate related property damage- and are willing to spend big money on solving those problems. > you’re not quirky or more interesting for having written this, I have no idea why you would write that on HN It's the simple truth, I'm someone that doesn't really try to "fit in" so I'm seen as weird by people that do, and I get along better with other people like that.

lotsofpulp 2y ago
>Values and actions are important to me, political affiliations are not. Voting is an action. If my partner (or anyone else) tells me they are going to vote for the person headlining a goal of taking away my daughter's ability to get healthcare, then they move into the category of people who want to harm my children.
- _yb2s 2y ago
  You are misunderstanding me in the same way the above poster is. Both you and them seem so obsessed with the idea of blind us vs them partisan politics, you can’t even comprehend that there are people that don’t think that way. It’s not that I would date someone with “opposing” partisan affiliation, but that I won’t date anyone that sees the world through a lens of politics instead of real issues they can solve with creativity and an open mind. If my/our kid was going to lose healthcare and all they did was vote for the latest liar that says the same old idea will solve that problem- they are either ignorant, or don’t actually care. The whole thing is largely a game people play to avoid guilt of not actually doing anything about the things they claim to care about… and is deeply encouraged in media and on social media to the point that people don’t even notice how absurd it is. Almost every older “boomer” that I know has their brain so infected with this they do nothing but watch TV and rant about politics… and of course take zero action besides voting- which shows the only care about the us vs them conflict and don’t actually care about any issues enough to do something real about them. I miss these people, sometimes it feels like they died because there is nothing left to their previous personalities. They take no actions, no risks, and have no ideas of their own anymore.
  - lotsofpulp 2y ago
    >but that I won’t date anyone that sees the world through a lens of politics instead of real issues they can solve with creativity and an open mind. Politics is the mechanism for solving real issues. It’s war without violence. > If my/our kid was going to lose healthcare and all they did was vote for the latest liar that says the same old idea will solve that problem- they are either ignorant, or don’t actually care. This is trivializing the work of countless civil rights activities (who may have also been elected leaders). Those “latest liars” and the people who voted for them contributed to slavery being abolished, women’s suffrage, civil rights, women’s healthcare rights, cannabis legalization, etc. > The whole thing is largely a game people play to avoid guilt of not actually doing anything about the things they claim to care about… and is deeply encouraged in media and on social media to the point that people don’t even notice how absurd it is. I have participated in numerous political campaigns, canvassed, even ran and held some local positions. We got things like paid parental leave, paid sick leave, and increases in minimum wages and exempt salaries passed. It is us vs them. I’m okay with debating things like tax policy or government spending or city planning or environmental concerns. That deal with shared resources that requires a compromise. I draw the line at violating my kids’ civil rights for no reason. Her body is not a shared resource, so there is zero need to compromise, and there is zero justification for someone else’s morals to come between a doctor and my daughter’s health. This is not even getting into supporting things like baseless election fraud claims and Jan 6 attacks on the democratic process.