I can only "buckle down" for a certain number of years before I become insanely depressed and start asking what life has to offer for me "Of course I'll focus

I can only "buckle down" for a certain number of years before I become insanely depressed and start asking what life has to offer for me "Of course I'll focus on happiness and not obsess over early retiring as soon as possible" but then I obsessed a little anyway, spending almost no money on myself and staying miserable Also the world is full of stupid assholes but even teenagers already know this