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I just turned 30 two days ago. Not exactly a realization, but I'd say I was entirely correct in emphasizing getting a quality partner and marriage before beginn

I just turned 30 two days ago. Not exactly a realization, but I'd say I was entirely correct in emphasizing getting a quality partner and marriage before beginning to seriously focus on my career. Much easier to be smart and driven without any baggage now.

sujayk_33 2y ago
That's Smart. I also believe that a good partner can be one of the deciding factors of our better future.
01HNNWZ0MV43FF 2y ago
Huh, how so? I got my career a few years before anyone would even date me and now I'm pretty content being unmarried after my divorce
- hiAndrewQuinn 2y ago
  It's a bit esoteric. Personally, I see "the deal" I have with God / the World-Spirit / whatever you wanna call it as, you let me have a family I'm happy with, I'm happy to work my hardest to make this world a richer and more bountiful place. You take that away from me, I reserve the right to live like I owe you nothing, because I don't. Money and material goods have always meant little to me in and of themselves, so I'm glad to see my deal has been on acceptable terms so far.
bradlys 2y ago
How were you able to do that if you didn’t have the career? Most women in the US are extremely focused on the income of their partner. Similarly, I found that many women divorce their husbands when the husband just doesn’t show up at home anymore and is only bringing money. The amount of alimony you can get is insane. Edit: looks like you live in Finland. We’re not even comparing on the same scales at all.
- takinola 2y ago
  Many? Most? I suspect your view of women's preferences is jaundiced. Most men earn average or below average incomes (by definition) but I don't see any data to suggest that there is a significant number of those men are unable to find women. That suggests to me that this idea of women only dating 6-foot tall men with 6-figure incomes is a myth.
- hiAndrewQuinn 2y ago
  I started writing up an answer, but then I thought "What drives someone to write such a nasty comment as this?" and read through some of your previous comments here. I found https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39265275#39269460 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39265275#39269460 and want to say it's very unfortunate the hand the world dealt you physique-wise. You clearly have other traits that some part of you feels should more than make up for the difference by now, but it's just not panning out, and that's a difficult place to be. I suspect you're not a religious man, but I will pray for you regardless.

sujayk_33 2y ago

That's Smart. I also believe that a good partner can be one of the deciding factors of our better future.

01HNNWZ0MV43FF 2y ago

Huh, how so? I got my career a few years before anyone would even date me and now I'm pretty content being unmarried after my divorce

hiAndrewQuinn 2y ago
It's a bit esoteric. Personally, I see "the deal" I have with God / the World-Spirit / whatever you wanna call it as, you let me have a family I'm happy with, I'm happy to work my hardest to make this world a richer and more bountiful place. You take that away from me, I reserve the right to live like I owe you nothing, because I don't. Money and material goods have always meant little to me in and of themselves, so I'm glad to see my deal has been on acceptable terms so far.

bradlys 2y ago

How were you able to do that if you didn’t have the career? Most women in the US are extremely focused on the income of their partner. Similarly, I found that many women divorce their husbands when the husband just doesn’t show up at home anymore and is only bringing money. The amount of alimony you can get is insane. Edit: looks like you live in Finland. We’re not even comparing on the same scales at all.

takinola 2y ago
Many? Most? I suspect your view of women's preferences is jaundiced. Most men earn average or below average incomes (by definition) but I don't see any data to suggest that there is a significant number of those men are unable to find women. That suggests to me that this idea of women only dating 6-foot tall men with 6-figure incomes is a myth.
hiAndrewQuinn 2y ago
I started writing up an answer, but then I thought "What drives someone to write such a nasty comment as this?" and read through some of your previous comments here. I found https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39265275#39269460 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39265275#39269460 and want to say it's very unfortunate the hand the world dealt you physique-wise. You clearly have other traits that some part of you feels should more than make up for the difference by now, but it's just not panning out, and that's a difficult place to be. I suspect you're not a religious man, but I will pray for you regardless.