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I’ve been training jiu jitsu for over 6 years now. The myth of the 130 lb woman doing anything to the <insert any weight above 180 lbs> is overused and not true

I’ve been training jiu jitsu for over 6 years now. The myth of the 130 lb woman doing anything to the <insert any weight above 180 lbs> is overused and not true; unless the man is being a gentleman. I routinely get beaten by small women because I’m not a spazoid and I want my training partners to enjoy training with me. But if my life was on the line, there’s no way they could tap me. Not even a chance.

meroes 2y ago
I learned this lesson explicitly Karate when I was younger. I was the spazoid. Had to be told, no, we don’t go even 75% capacity in most exercises, let your opponent carry out the routine when it’s their turn.
w3gS34k354K7978 2y ago
I can tell you it’s a real thing because it happened to me. 6’3” and at that time (19 or 20) was probably right around that 180lbs - no one would have described me as muscular back then though, just skinny more like it. Anyways, first day of training, the first thing the instructor did was assume I needed humble pie. Told me he wanted to see my baseline, said get in the cage, and called over the only female in the class. She was ~5’6” ~140lbs from memory. Not chubby, just stalky and solid. Rest of the class came over to watch with cheeky smiles too. Later found out it was kind of her thing to break in the new guys. She had me in a rear naked tapping out in under 30s. I didn’t know what it signified at the time, but she was a brown belt and regularly took home hardware from regional amateur tournaments. I had ~6 mo striking experience (Muay Thai), but had never rolled, never wrestled in high school. Best and only entry on my grappling resume was growing up with a brother. So it does happen, as I can attest, but I do understand your skepticism if you haven’t seen it, especially because of additional hidden context like this: - I had never directly encountered, and was extremely uncomfortable with, the idea of physically overpowering a female. It was the most unnatural thing, and I was psychologically paralyzed by this until it was way too late. - She had zero chill. Probably read my obvious body language, and knew her play was to blitz. - I didn’t know how rolling was supposed work with any opponent, let alone a female. I didn’t know rolling etiquette, conventions, nothing at all. Not that it would have mattered because she had no intention of offering me the usual respects anyways. If she had attacked me on the street with murder in her eyes, and I reacted with full force, would she still have gotten the best of me? I’d like to tell myself I would’ve bested her in a life or death scenario, but truth is I’m deeply uncertain of the outcome in that hypothetical.
- borski 2y ago
  Some gyms have these “enforcers” and are into this sort of thing. I hate that so much. Not everyone needs humbling. And I think that’s the point that people here are missing. If someone walks in and is calm, respects the fact that the trained person has something they don’t, and so on… even as a skeptic they’ll be relatively fine, and won’t get “wrecked” in most places, at least not on purpose. It’s the guys that walk in thinking they’re about to roll over everybody with their big muscles that get rocked. But they usually end up being great people; just that finding out how much you don’t know is extremely humbling, extremely fast. And I respect that a lot of people don’t believe it. I honestly didn’t myself. I get that; I’m not trying to convince you.
- adamtaylor_13 2y ago
  Many people do need that initial "this shit is real" check. If you don't tap, I will pop your arm. This isn't karate. The mythos of jiu-jitsu is so much bigger than the reality. I say that with all the love and respect of someone who trains! Size matters. Despite what the brochure says. Each belt is worth about 10-20 pounds of weight. At brown belt, sure, maybe she can beat up a completely untrained 180-pound guy, but with 3 months of training the math changes. I'm not saying "It isn't real" in an absolute "it never happens" sort of way. I'm saying that it's not true for 90% of the real-world use cases out there. People should train to be aware of their limits and to be fit and capable. But anyone thinking a 140-pound woman is going to terrorize some 200+ pound weight lifter is delusional and hasn't trained before.
borski 2y ago
> I routinely get beaten by small women because I’m not a spazoid and I want my training partners to enjoy training with me. This is not the kind of thing I’m talking about. Of course we all regularly get “beaten” by people with less skill and who are smaller, or bigger, or anything else - but I’m not talking about training with a partner or letting them practice a technique during a roll. I’m talking about people that walk in with their egos very high and their skill very low. There are those who come in and are almost afraid to use any strength at all. Then there are those who believe that strength is all you need, so on their first few rolls they gas out immediately and then get rocked. I’m not suggesting that two trained people of vastly different weight classes would be equally matched. That would be absurd. Also, I’m not talking about your life being on the line. I’m talking about BJJ.
- adamtaylor_13 2y ago
  My interpretation was that yours was the "130-pound woman can hurt 180-pound new class guy who 'just sees red'" story. My point was that it's largely mythos. Not that it _never_ happens, but by and large weight matters even in untrained vs trained individuals.

meroes 2y ago

I learned this lesson explicitly Karate when I was younger. I was the spazoid. Had to be told, no, we don’t go even 75% capacity in most exercises, let your opponent carry out the routine when it’s their turn.

w3gS34k354K7978 2y ago

I can tell you it’s a real thing because it happened to me. 6’3” and at that time (19 or 20) was probably right around that 180lbs - no one would have described me as muscular back then though, just skinny more like it. Anyways, first day of training, the first thing the instructor did was assume I needed humble pie. Told me he wanted to see my baseline, said get in the cage, and called over the only female in the class. She was ~5’6” ~140lbs from memory. Not chubby, just stalky and solid. Rest of the class came over to watch with cheeky smiles too. Later found out it was kind of her thing to break in the new guys. She had me in a rear naked tapping out in under 30s. I didn’t know what it signified at the time, but she was a brown belt and regularly took home hardware from regional amateur tournaments. I had ~6 mo striking experience (Muay Thai), but had never rolled, never wrestled in high school. Best and only entry on my grappling resume was growing up with a brother. So it does happen, as I can attest, but I do understand your skepticism if you haven’t seen it, especially because of additional hidden context like this: - I had never directly encountered, and was extremely uncomfortable with, the idea of physically overpowering a female. It was the most unnatural thing, and I was psychologically paralyzed by this until it was way too late. - She had zero chill. Probably read my obvious body language, and knew her play was to blitz. - I didn’t know how rolling was supposed work with any opponent, let alone a female. I didn’t know rolling etiquette, conventions, nothing at all. Not that it would have mattered because she had no intention of offering me the usual respects anyways. If she had attacked me on the street with murder in her eyes, and I reacted with full force, would she still have gotten the best of me? I’d like to tell myself I would’ve bested her in a life or death scenario, but truth is I’m deeply uncertain of the outcome in that hypothetical.

borski 2y ago
Some gyms have these “enforcers” and are into this sort of thing. I hate that so much. Not everyone needs humbling. And I think that’s the point that people here are missing. If someone walks in and is calm, respects the fact that the trained person has something they don’t, and so on… even as a skeptic they’ll be relatively fine, and won’t get “wrecked” in most places, at least not on purpose. It’s the guys that walk in thinking they’re about to roll over everybody with their big muscles that get rocked. But they usually end up being great people; just that finding out how much you don’t know is extremely humbling, extremely fast. And I respect that a lot of people don’t believe it. I honestly didn’t myself. I get that; I’m not trying to convince you.
adamtaylor_13 2y ago
Many people do need that initial "this shit is real" check. If you don't tap, I will pop your arm. This isn't karate. The mythos of jiu-jitsu is so much bigger than the reality. I say that with all the love and respect of someone who trains! Size matters. Despite what the brochure says. Each belt is worth about 10-20 pounds of weight. At brown belt, sure, maybe she can beat up a completely untrained 180-pound guy, but with 3 months of training the math changes. I'm not saying "It isn't real" in an absolute "it never happens" sort of way. I'm saying that it's not true for 90% of the real-world use cases out there. People should train to be aware of their limits and to be fit and capable. But anyone thinking a 140-pound woman is going to terrorize some 200+ pound weight lifter is delusional and hasn't trained before.

borski 2y ago

> I routinely get beaten by small women because I’m not a spazoid and I want my training partners to enjoy training with me. This is not the kind of thing I’m talking about. Of course we all regularly get “beaten” by people with less skill and who are smaller, or bigger, or anything else - but I’m not talking about training with a partner or letting them practice a technique during a roll. I’m talking about people that walk in with their egos very high and their skill very low. There are those who come in and are almost afraid to use any strength at all. Then there are those who believe that strength is all you need, so on their first few rolls they gas out immediately and then get rocked. I’m not suggesting that two trained people of vastly different weight classes would be equally matched. That would be absurd. Also, I’m not talking about your life being on the line. I’m talking about BJJ.

adamtaylor_13 2y ago
My interpretation was that yours was the "130-pound woman can hurt 180-pound new class guy who 'just sees red'" story. My point was that it's largely mythos. Not that it _never_ happens, but by and large weight matters even in untrained vs trained individuals.