4 ms·

$5k/year is cheaper than an IRL relationship.

cyberpunk 2y ago
20k is a lot of money to spend on pornography though. I wonder at what point does one ask themselves if they have a problem or not?
- lostemptations5 2y ago
  Or not alot of options...
  - wiseowise 2y ago
    With 20k in 4 years you should be able to switch handful of hobbies that will potentially allow you to attract a real woman. 20k on porn means you need to see a shrink asap.
- tiku 2y ago
  He didn't think of porn at the time I bet.
  - raincole 2y ago
    I mean if he met the girl(s?) on another platform, like Tinder, it's more explainable. But OnlyFans...?
  - corgihamlet 2y ago
    He was chatting on OnlyFans with a model, he wasn't chatting on a dating platform. Regardless if he was chatting wit the actual model or some guy pretending to be her, they still would have told him ANYTHING he wanted to hear as long as he was there to pay. I've had some first-hand experience with people like him and trust me - there is usually a very good reason why people like him need to pay to get attention from "women". You can blame the porn/sex industry as much as you like but there is a type of man that will never be satisfied by a normal relationship.
    - ryandrake 2y ago
      > You can blame the porn/sex industry as much as you like but there is a type of man that will never be satisfied by a normal relationship. There are also men who, due to the brutal realities of dating and the "relationship market," will likely never have access to a normal relationship. I'm not sure we can 100% blame the user here, either.
dave4420 2y ago
That depends heavily on the IRL relationship.
badgersnake 2y ago
Because cost per year is totally how normal people value their relationship.
- lazide 2y ago
  If cost per year exceeds available cashflow? Everyone starts to think about the relationship that way at that time. If you’ve been around long enough, unless you’re really lucky, you’ve had that experience before.
  - djtango 2y ago
    My wife and I recently did a model for how we expect our expenditure to increase once we have kids. We obviously will love our children but we find it irresponsible to not have done the exercise of how much our kids will cost per year (and what that means for our own personal savings etc).
    - lazide 2y ago
      If only it was just that type of situation. There are the ‘I must be a stay at home mom/dad because I can’t handle the stress’ type situations. There are the ‘I need to buy x we can’t afford to be happy’ type situations. There are the ‘we have kids now and he/she can’t leave, so I can do whatever I want’ type situations. I had someone actively sabotage my job (in a very difficult to detect way) because they were worried I’d leave them if I was too ‘independent’, or got promoted. And I’ve seen many other people have spouses do that to them too. Everything from dramatically increasing stress levels at home, to sabotaging sleep, or creating health issues until the spouse stopped ‘getting away’. All the way up to creating false accusations and trying to destroy them unless they got ‘under control’.
      - djtango 2y ago
        Wow that's horrifying - sorry to hear that you were in that situation and thank you for being willing to open up about this. It doesn't have to be just partners - a friend recently told me about her husband's younger sister who would regularly spend beyond her means then rely on her brother / parents to bail her out of her debts. That's also one of those impossible relationships where you feel obligated to help but the relationship has a real cost.
rightbyte 2y ago
If the other party don't have a job maybe.
leidenfrost 2y ago
Expenses in an IRL relationship are a side effect of the relationship, not a direct price. And it depends on the person. While most people expect financial stability from their partner, some don't mind having simpler settings in dates. While it may be more expensive anyways, the payoff is a real person inerested in you, your life, and wanting to be with you. To an extent, it's like comparing living a happy life and doing drugs, because after all both of them end up translating as "dopamine in the brain".
theshrike79 2y ago
5k a year buys some really expensive sugar daddy / GFE professionals...
- Ekaros 2y ago
  Dividing it it is not that much money. Less than 100 a week or 420 a month. Those numbers don't actually seem that high, if you want more than one experience every couple months.

20k is a lot of money to spend on pornography though. I wonder at what point does one ask themselves if they have a problem or not?

lostemptations5 2y ago
Or not alot of options...
- wiseowise 2y ago
  With 20k in 4 years you should be able to switch handful of hobbies that will potentially allow you to attract a real woman. 20k on porn means you need to see a shrink asap.
tiku 2y ago
He didn't think of porn at the time I bet.
- raincole 2y ago
  I mean if he met the girl(s?) on another platform, like Tinder, it's more explainable. But OnlyFans...?
- corgihamlet 2y ago
  He was chatting on OnlyFans with a model, he wasn't chatting on a dating platform. Regardless if he was chatting wit the actual model or some guy pretending to be her, they still would have told him ANYTHING he wanted to hear as long as he was there to pay. I've had some first-hand experience with people like him and trust me - there is usually a very good reason why people like him need to pay to get attention from "women". You can blame the porn/sex industry as much as you like but there is a type of man that will never be satisfied by a normal relationship.
  - ryandrake 2y ago
    > You can blame the porn/sex industry as much as you like but there is a type of man that will never be satisfied by a normal relationship. There are also men who, due to the brutal realities of dating and the "relationship market," will likely never have access to a normal relationship. I'm not sure we can 100% blame the user here, either.

dave4420 2y ago

That depends heavily on the IRL relationship.

badgersnake 2y ago

Because cost per year is totally how normal people value their relationship.

lazide 2y ago
If cost per year exceeds available cashflow? Everyone starts to think about the relationship that way at that time. If you’ve been around long enough, unless you’re really lucky, you’ve had that experience before.
- djtango 2y ago
  My wife and I recently did a model for how we expect our expenditure to increase once we have kids. We obviously will love our children but we find it irresponsible to not have done the exercise of how much our kids will cost per year (and what that means for our own personal savings etc).
  - lazide 2y ago
    If only it was just that type of situation. There are the ‘I must be a stay at home mom/dad because I can’t handle the stress’ type situations. There are the ‘I need to buy x we can’t afford to be happy’ type situations. There are the ‘we have kids now and he/she can’t leave, so I can do whatever I want’ type situations. I had someone actively sabotage my job (in a very difficult to detect way) because they were worried I’d leave them if I was too ‘independent’, or got promoted. And I’ve seen many other people have spouses do that to them too. Everything from dramatically increasing stress levels at home, to sabotaging sleep, or creating health issues until the spouse stopped ‘getting away’. All the way up to creating false accusations and trying to destroy them unless they got ‘under control’.
    - djtango 2y ago
      Wow that's horrifying - sorry to hear that you were in that situation and thank you for being willing to open up about this. It doesn't have to be just partners - a friend recently told me about her husband's younger sister who would regularly spend beyond her means then rely on her brother / parents to bail her out of her debts. That's also one of those impossible relationships where you feel obligated to help but the relationship has a real cost.

rightbyte 2y ago

If the other party don't have a job maybe.

leidenfrost 2y ago

Expenses in an IRL relationship are a side effect of the relationship, not a direct price. And it depends on the person. While most people expect financial stability from their partner, some don't mind having simpler settings in dates. While it may be more expensive anyways, the payoff is a real person inerested in you, your life, and wanting to be with you. To an extent, it's like comparing living a happy life and doing drugs, because after all both of them end up translating as "dopamine in the brain".

theshrike79 2y ago

5k a year buys some really expensive sugar daddy / GFE professionals...

Ekaros 2y ago
Dividing it it is not that much money. Less than 100 a week or 420 a month. Those numbers don't actually seem that high, if you want more than one experience every couple months.