4 ms·
I understand your point but the article quite literally says: “Here are the rules. The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere.
by cipehr 2y ago
I understand your point but the article quite literally says: “Here are the rules. The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere.”
I think GP has valid points about this “rules” impact.
- mlyle 2y agoI don't think it's meant as literal rules. It's a rhetorical device. Basically everything in there has exceptions: sometimes the compassionate thing to do would be to give someone in an inner ring advice. Just, 9/10 out of times, advice offered is unhelpful and worsens things. Obviously it's not okay for the person in the middle to say "anything", either. But, it's a really worthwhile thing to consider. Is the person you're going to talk to closer to the trauma than you? If so, would what you're saying be better to say to someone further away, instead?
- dsign 2y ago> Just, 9/10 out of times, advice offered is unhelpful and worsens things. Indeed. But if I were in some acute treatment in USA, in the center ring, I probably feel an unrestrained urge to ask for financial advice. "Dear, can the kids be indented into slavery if I die without paying the bills? Yes? Because I signed that form? Oh...somebody should have given me some advice..."
- eyelidlessness 2y agoIt says “can”. It doesn’t say should, or advise on what’s best for the person at the “center” to do. In fact that’s the whole point: it is advice meant for people who are, in their own analysis, not at the center of whatever trauma is being addressed.