4 ms·

Hasn't the divorce rate also gone down. So one question is if the method of meeting is improving that rate

by dv_dt 2y ago

bilbo0s 2y ago
Yeah. Marriage rate and divorce rate have plummeted since 1940. Probably not much to do with electronic media there. A lot more likely that financial and social pressures are squeezing what were previously considered cultural imperatives. ie - church, marriage, home ownership, etc.
- s1artibartfast 2y ago
  Or simply that fewer marginally good fit marriages are occurring. Fewer teen marriages, shotgun weddings, ect. There were always a lot of financial imperatives to wed.
  - bilbo0s 2y ago
    There were always a lot of financial imperatives to wed. The point is that now the financial imperative is not to wed. ("Girlfriend get serious! Why marry some loser who can't even buy a house?" or "Bro what? Do you know what will happen if you get divorced?") The financial imperative is not to go to church. Working on Sunday has become the norm as people are regularly expected to be available on the weekends. This is especially true in the startup or tech space. And don't even get me started on how workers in the services sector, who would in any other era be the most likely to attend church, get so few weekends free between their multiple jobs, that church is now an afterthought for them. The financial imperative is not to purchase a home. ("Bro! You don't have that kind of money! And what if you have to move for your job?")
    - s1artibartfast 2y ago
      I think we have very different perceptions of the world, but I don't have much interest in having a discussion predicated on quotes from imaginary characters.
      - knighthack 2y ago
        You take a morally superior position, and you are condescending. As if discussions and examples using imaginary characters are somehow 'lowly', and can't be used as a fair commentary of society. In comparison, Plato's works often feature dialogues where characters, including Socrates, engage in arguments, which present various perspectives on philosophical issues through fictionalized conversations. That style of writing and the use of imaginary characters in argumentative discourse is actually hallmark of Plato's work. The OP's style of writing (who you responded to) is therefore not out of the ordinary; just because you disagree with his or her "perceptions of the world" doesn't mean you should put it down as unworthy of reply for using "imaginary characters".
        s1artibartfast 2y ago
        I don't think OPs points were on par with plato, and neither do you. I think that form of communication is indicative of poor mental function and inability to communicate. The world would be better off if everyone simply refuses to engage with it and ridiculed it instead of validating it with engagement. An anecdote is not an argument, and an imaginary one is even worse.
- Dalewyn 2y ago
  >A lot more likely that financial and social pressures are squeezing what were previously considered cultural imperatives. We are living the most affluent lives ever known to mankind, even so-called low income people. We all have more money than we know what to do with, let alone more money than our forefathers. Rather, I think the drop in marriage (and by extension divorce) has to do with increasing individualism and jade-ism. The more humanity (namely the west) advances, the more it is drilled in that all men are created equal with unalienable rights to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. People are increasingly more concerned with living their lives the way they want to the exclusion of spouses and children if such things are not what makes them happy. Combine that with the brutal realities of life, because life is fucking hard at the best of times (no matter how rich you are), and the media constantly sensationalizing on everyones' fears and anger aren't helping matters either. Also as an aside and anecdata: I'm in my mid-30s now, not married, never married, and never intend to marry because I do not find it appealing at all. I can more than afford to marry, but I am far too busy with other matters more important to me and I frankly find marriage to be nothing short of a human rights violation anyway.
  - paulryanrogers 2y ago
    > I frankly find marriage to be nothing short of a human rights violation anyway. Just curious, but how could marriage be a rights violation?
    - Dalewyn 2y ago
      First the axiom so we're all on the same page: I truly and wholeheartedly agree with and believe in the notion that life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness are unalienable rights. Marriage is many things, but chief among them is that marriage is an inevitable compromise of each others' liberties and therein lies the violation. Who am I to compromise my would-be wife's unalienable right to liberty? Who is my would-be wife to compromise my unalienable right to liberty? This is absolutely irreconcilable and thus I consider marriage to be a violation of human rights. If we also were to have children, I/we would also be imposing my/our will upon them. I/we would be violating our childrens' unalienable right to liberty and potentially pursuit of happiness. I cannot accept that. I am also of the position that if I were to get a divorce for any reason, I must question why I got married in the first place. Marriage is not a thing that can nor should be taken lightly; divorce is an out, but I consider the entire premise of marriage is that it is a permanent thing until death do us part. As such, if we end up in an unhappy marriage (eg: constant bickering over the kitchen or finances) then this is also a violation of our respective unalienable rights to pursuit of happiness and we both wasted significant amounts of our limited time that each of us have in this world. Therefore, along with other personal convictions, I find no appeal in marriage and have no intentions of ever pursuing it or finding myself in such an arrangement of my free will.
lolinder 2y ago
Marriage rates are also plummeting, so it's more likely that the divorce rate has gone down simply because people wait to get married until they've proven it works. A couple that cohabitates and then separates doesn't get logged in the divorce rates.

Hasn't the divorce rate also gone down. So one question is if the method of meeting is improving that rate

by dv_dt 2y ago

Hasn't the divorce rate also gone down. So one question is if the method of meeting is improving that rate

Yeah. Marriage rate and divorce rate have plummeted since 1940. Probably not much to do with electronic media there. A lot more likely that financial and social pressures are squeezing what were previously considered cultural imperatives. ie - church, marriage, home ownership, etc.

s1artibartfast 2y ago
Or simply that fewer marginally good fit marriages are occurring. Fewer teen marriages, shotgun weddings, ect. There were always a lot of financial imperatives to wed.
- bilbo0s 2y ago
  There were always a lot of financial imperatives to wed. The point is that now the financial imperative is not to wed. ("Girlfriend get serious! Why marry some loser who can't even buy a house?" or "Bro what? Do you know what will happen if you get divorced?") The financial imperative is not to go to church. Working on Sunday has become the norm as people are regularly expected to be available on the weekends. This is especially true in the startup or tech space. And don't even get me started on how workers in the services sector, who would in any other era be the most likely to attend church, get so few weekends free between their multiple jobs, that church is now an afterthought for them. The financial imperative is not to purchase a home. ("Bro! You don't have that kind of money! And what if you have to move for your job?")
  - s1artibartfast 2y ago
    I think we have very different perceptions of the world, but I don't have much interest in having a discussion predicated on quotes from imaginary characters.
    - knighthack 2y ago
      You take a morally superior position, and you are condescending. As if discussions and examples using imaginary characters are somehow 'lowly', and can't be used as a fair commentary of society. In comparison, Plato's works often feature dialogues where characters, including Socrates, engage in arguments, which present various perspectives on philosophical issues through fictionalized conversations. That style of writing and the use of imaginary characters in argumentative discourse is actually hallmark of Plato's work. The OP's style of writing (who you responded to) is therefore not out of the ordinary; just because you disagree with his or her "perceptions of the world" doesn't mean you should put it down as unworthy of reply for using "imaginary characters".
      - s1artibartfast 2y ago
        I don't think OPs points were on par with plato, and neither do you. I think that form of communication is indicative of poor mental function and inability to communicate. The world would be better off if everyone simply refuses to engage with it and ridiculed it instead of validating it with engagement. An anecdote is not an argument, and an imaginary one is even worse.
Dalewyn 2y ago
>A lot more likely that financial and social pressures are squeezing what were previously considered cultural imperatives. We are living the most affluent lives ever known to mankind, even so-called low income people. We all have more money than we know what to do with, let alone more money than our forefathers. Rather, I think the drop in marriage (and by extension divorce) has to do with increasing individualism and jade-ism. The more humanity (namely the west) advances, the more it is drilled in that all men are created equal with unalienable rights to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. People are increasingly more concerned with living their lives the way they want to the exclusion of spouses and children if such things are not what makes them happy. Combine that with the brutal realities of life, because life is fucking hard at the best of times (no matter how rich you are), and the media constantly sensationalizing on everyones' fears and anger aren't helping matters either. Also as an aside and anecdata: I'm in my mid-30s now, not married, never married, and never intend to marry because I do not find it appealing at all. I can more than afford to marry, but I am far too busy with other matters more important to me and I frankly find marriage to be nothing short of a human rights violation anyway.
- paulryanrogers 2y ago
  > I frankly find marriage to be nothing short of a human rights violation anyway. Just curious, but how could marriage be a rights violation?
  - Dalewyn 2y ago
    First the axiom so we're all on the same page: I truly and wholeheartedly agree with and believe in the notion that life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness are unalienable rights. Marriage is many things, but chief among them is that marriage is an inevitable compromise of each others' liberties and therein lies the violation. Who am I to compromise my would-be wife's unalienable right to liberty? Who is my would-be wife to compromise my unalienable right to liberty? This is absolutely irreconcilable and thus I consider marriage to be a violation of human rights. If we also were to have children, I/we would also be imposing my/our will upon them. I/we would be violating our childrens' unalienable right to liberty and potentially pursuit of happiness. I cannot accept that. I am also of the position that if I were to get a divorce for any reason, I must question why I got married in the first place. Marriage is not a thing that can nor should be taken lightly; divorce is an out, but I consider the entire premise of marriage is that it is a permanent thing until death do us part. As such, if we end up in an unhappy marriage (eg: constant bickering over the kitchen or finances) then this is also a violation of our respective unalienable rights to pursuit of happiness and we both wasted significant amounts of our limited time that each of us have in this world. Therefore, along with other personal convictions, I find no appeal in marriage and have no intentions of ever pursuing it or finding myself in such an arrangement of my free will.

lolinder 2y ago

Marriage rates are also plummeting, so it's more likely that the divorce rate has gone down simply because people wait to get married until they've proven it works. A couple that cohabitates and then separates doesn't get logged in the divorce rates.