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I have to assume that people leaving their home towns to work elsewhere is a huge driving factor of all of this.

freshlee 2y ago
I think it's not only this, but that the process repeats over and over. I had very deep relationships in high school, forged new ones in college, then both of those ended. I moved to a new city where I started a new job with a bunch of other people in their mid-20's, and we formed yet another community. Then the company laid off or required everyone to move to a new city. New job, same story again. I still start up new friendships at work, but it feels less and less worth it each time and so I try a little less hard year by year, because you're working against impersonal forces that will upend your social structures on a whim, and it feels like a treadmill to try to keep them intact.
veddox 2y ago
I've begun thinking in that direction too, after seeing how my peers have been moving all over the country in the last few years - first for uni, then for a job, then another job... I'm one of the movers myself, and I know why I moved, but I feel the cost of lost relationships quite heavily.
reducesuffering 2y ago
That has only been declining while youth mental health got worse.
- brightball 2y ago
  It has been with remote work but think of how much break down is already in place.
hot_gril 2y ago
I recently moved. Most of my new friends aren't from here, they came here for work, but they consider it their own city now and are part of the community. It's different in a "commuter city" like San Francisco. That means the majority of people don't even live there during the day, and even their job might be temporary. Unfortunately most are there to make money, not friends.
- brightball 2y ago
  Yep, exactly. And if your families aren't around, that will have an impact the moment you decide to have kids. Available grandparents make everything about raising children easier, especially for working parents. And then the grandparents will connect the kids with their friends, their friends families and grand kids too. And so on.
  - lotsofpulp 2y ago
    I see more and more old grandparents that can’t handle little kids and are liabilities themselves, which is just an unavoidable fact of moving childbearing ages from 20s to 30s.
- fragmede 2y ago
  that was definitely true pre-covid but is it still true?
  - hot_gril 2y ago
    Are you talking about San Francisco? I don't know, probably.
dnissley 2y ago
Americans move less than they ever have these days: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/20/us/american-workers-moving-states-.html https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/20/us/american-workers-movin...
randomdata 2y ago
Few, and increasingly fewer, move far from where they were born. Why do the outliers who do move around become a huge driving factor for the larger population here? Why does the decline in the driving force bring an apparent increase in the effects?

I think it's not only this, but that the process repeats over and over. I had very deep relationships in high school, forged new ones in college, then both of those ended. I moved to a new city where I started a new job with a bunch of other people in their mid-20's, and we formed yet another community. Then the company laid off or required everyone to move to a new city. New job, same story again. I still start up new friendships at work, but it feels less and less worth it each time and so I try a little less hard year by year, because you're working against impersonal forces that will upend your social structures on a whim, and it feels like a treadmill to try to keep them intact.

veddox 2y ago

I've begun thinking in that direction too, after seeing how my peers have been moving all over the country in the last few years - first for uni, then for a job, then another job... I'm one of the movers myself, and I know why I moved, but I feel the cost of lost relationships quite heavily.

reducesuffering 2y ago

That has only been declining while youth mental health got worse.

brightball 2y ago
It has been with remote work but think of how much break down is already in place.

hot_gril 2y ago

I recently moved. Most of my new friends aren't from here, they came here for work, but they consider it their own city now and are part of the community. It's different in a "commuter city" like San Francisco. That means the majority of people don't even live there during the day, and even their job might be temporary. Unfortunately most are there to make money, not friends.

brightball 2y ago
Yep, exactly. And if your families aren't around, that will have an impact the moment you decide to have kids. Available grandparents make everything about raising children easier, especially for working parents. And then the grandparents will connect the kids with their friends, their friends families and grand kids too. And so on.
- lotsofpulp 2y ago
  I see more and more old grandparents that can’t handle little kids and are liabilities themselves, which is just an unavoidable fact of moving childbearing ages from 20s to 30s.
fragmede 2y ago
that was definitely true pre-covid but is it still true?
- hot_gril 2y ago
  Are you talking about San Francisco? I don't know, probably.

dnissley 2y ago

Americans move less than they ever have these days: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/20/us/american-workers-moving-states-.html https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/20/us/american-workers-movin...

randomdata 2y ago

Few, and increasingly fewer, move far from where they were born. Why do the outliers who do move around become a huge driving factor for the larger population here? Why does the decline in the driving force bring an apparent increase in the effects?