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> Instead of the ballet of "do you want my advice," it would be better to switch to "I think one of the possible courses of action is," or "I have encountered s
by kerkeslager 2y ago
> Instead of the ballet of "do you want my advice," it would be better to switch to "I think one of the possible courses of action is," or "I have encountered something similar in the past and, at least in spirit, this is what I found helpful."
Strong disagree--it has to be a question. The entire point of my post is:
1. Ask for consent before giving advice.
2. If they say no, don't give them the advice.
This isn't "artificial kindness or feigned interest in the fate of others"--I agree that exists in the US--it's a real question where the answer really does affect what you decide to do.
- borroka 2y ago"Do you want my advice" = I know how to solve it, but maybe you don't (because you are incompetent, insecure, or not ready to know the "truth") want to solve it and it's okay for you to stay with your problems, your loss, I'm out.
- kerkeslager 2y ago> "Do you want my advice" = I know how to solve it, but maybe you don't (because you are incompetent, insecure, or not ready to know the "truth") want to solve it and it's okay for you to stay with your problems, your loss, I'm out. No, that's not what that means. Sure, some oversensitive people will interpret it that way. That's why I provided two other ways of asking the question. "Do you want my advice?" is okay for a lot of people, though; not everyone is so sensitive they'll take offense to that. It has to be a question, though. And really, if someone is going to assume you think they're incompetent because you ask if they want advice, you think they won't assume you'll think they're incompetent when you say, "I think one of the possible courses of action is..."?