My next startup's business plan, using £5000 of seed money to make £1B: £2500 to bribe a young woman at a high-profile company to accuse their upper management

My next startup's business plan, using £5000 of seed money to make £1B: £2500 to bribe a young woman at a high-profile company to accuse their upper management of sexual harassment. £2500 to bribe the cop for access to all of the company's data. Sell to interested parties. Repeat.