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The weirdest part to me about this article is the "have you ever tried spending Christmas, birthdays, weddings, christenings or funerals with them, without alco

by Hamuko 2y ago

The weirdest part to me about this article is the "have you ever tried spending Christmas, birthdays, weddings, christenings or funerals with them, without alcohol?" question. Alcohol has never really been an issue if I go spend the holidays with my immediate family, even though I am the only one that doesn't drink. Just how much alcohol is your family going through on Christmas?

dspillett 2y ago
> Just how much alcohol is your family going through on Christmas? The “have you ever tried spending [time] with them, without alcohol?” isn't referring directly to the amount of alcohol the others are drinking, but dumbing yourself down with alcohol, so you aren't as bothered by their behaviour. Of course the behaviours that would bother you while more sober might be induced or exacerbated by excessive alcohol, but often I find people who are difficult to deal with after a few drinks are people I'd rather not interact with much when they are sober either.
raddan 2y ago
It can be a lot. Christmas, Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving, etc, were for a long time excuses for my family to drink to excess. As a teenager who finally had their driver’s license, I remember being proud of finally being old enough to drive my drunk parents home. The problem is that it catches up with you. And it is easy to overlook when some people develop a serious drinking problem. My mother became a serious several-liters-of-vodka-a-day drunk. It was profoundly noticeable toward the tail end. It all stopped when the heavy vomiting (from the drinking) triggered a brain bleed and she had a stroke. She was, for months, in a coma, and then for many more months, unable to speak or move. To an outsider, she now appears normal, but to those who know her well, she is not. Her memories are usually confabulated. She cannot perform ordinary tasks (like cooking), and she is frail. Most importantly, the spark that made her funny and interesting is gone. Drinking destroyed it. Sadly, this is a pattern I saw repeated in numerous family members. But it never really impacted me until it was my own mother. I am not anti-drinking. But this experience removed almost all of the pleasure of drinking for me. The irony is that I really do miss those joyous, booze-fueled holidays. I have a lot of complicated emotions about it, but I wouldn’t go back.
benterix 2y ago
> Alcohol has never really been an issue if I go spend the holidays with my immediate family Probably immediate is the key here. Once you stay with the more distant ones, you may discover many people will just use it as a lubricant to somehow get a long with people they actually don't share that much with - but need to because of social pressure.

by Hamuko 2y ago

dspillett 2y ago

> Just how much alcohol is your family going through on Christmas? The “have you ever tried spending [time] with them, without alcohol?” isn't referring directly to the amount of alcohol the others are drinking, but dumbing yourself down with alcohol, so you aren't as bothered by their behaviour. Of course the behaviours that would bother you while more sober might be induced or exacerbated by excessive alcohol, but often I find people who are difficult to deal with after a few drinks are people I'd rather not interact with much when they are sober either.

raddan 2y ago

It can be a lot. Christmas, Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving, etc, were for a long time excuses for my family to drink to excess. As a teenager who finally had their driver’s license, I remember being proud of finally being old enough to drive my drunk parents home. The problem is that it catches up with you. And it is easy to overlook when some people develop a serious drinking problem. My mother became a serious several-liters-of-vodka-a-day drunk. It was profoundly noticeable toward the tail end. It all stopped when the heavy vomiting (from the drinking) triggered a brain bleed and she had a stroke. She was, for months, in a coma, and then for many more months, unable to speak or move. To an outsider, she now appears normal, but to those who know her well, she is not. Her memories are usually confabulated. She cannot perform ordinary tasks (like cooking), and she is frail. Most importantly, the spark that made her funny and interesting is gone. Drinking destroyed it. Sadly, this is a pattern I saw repeated in numerous family members. But it never really impacted me until it was my own mother. I am not anti-drinking. But this experience removed almost all of the pleasure of drinking for me. The irony is that I really do miss those joyous, booze-fueled holidays. I have a lot of complicated emotions about it, but I wouldn’t go back.

benterix 2y ago

> Alcohol has never really been an issue if I go spend the holidays with my immediate family Probably immediate is the key here. Once you stay with the more distant ones, you may discover many people will just use it as a lubricant to somehow get a long with people they actually don't share that much with - but need to because of social pressure.