> 3. Your spouse just wants to vent, UNLESS they say "fix it" in which case they want you to fix it, 3a. When someone says "show me what I need to do" or simil

> 3. Your spouse just wants to vent, UNLESS they say "fix it" in which case they want you to fix it, 3a. When someone says "show me what I need to do" or similar, then they don't mean either "I need to vent" or "fix it for me". They want to learn enough to take care of it themselves; and therefor fixing it for them - with the knowledge that the issue will recur and need the same conversation again - is a frustrating case of not listening to the real need.