> If someone tells you their car is broken, it's not helpful to tell them that they should get it fixed, because maybe the REAL problem is they don't have the m

> If someone tells you their car is broken, it's not helpful to tell them that they should get it fixed, because maybe the REAL problem is they don't have the money for it and are ashamed to tell you. (And maybe the solution to that is more complicated than you think, too.) Maybe they feel that skipping the social event you're pushing because their car is broken is more socially acceptable than skipping because they, er, really need to shampoo their cat that evening.