3 ms·
> advice is incomplete without lived experience. This bit is usually the crux. It's not about your lived experience, but it has to be some lived experience th
by screye 2y ago
> advice is incomplete without lived experience.
This bit is usually the crux.
It's not about your lived experience, but it has to be some lived experience that's felt viscerally. It can be your own, it can be in 2nd second person. It's about the feeling it drives. Not so much the frame/POV.
Good advice is visceral, limited, targeted and helps get the person to the immediate next 'better' state.
In military parlance, it's what helps you complete 1 single ooda loop. In ML parlance it's what helps complete 1 gradient update.
Big picture advice only works if the person has already built trust with associated mini-advice over many steps. In ML parlance, you can't increase the learning rate until you have high confidence in the direction of the gradient.
- bentcorner 2y agoI tell my kids this - you can tell people till you're blue in the face that there's an alligator in the river, and a surprising number of people will ignore you until they themselves see an alligator in the river. It's just how people are. It is very hard to learn from other people's mistakes.
- akira2501 2y agoThe flip side to that is we are terrible archivists of our own lived experiences. We constantly editorialize them in order to spare our egos and minds the inconvenient facts of our actual path through life. These never get communicated with the advice and so most advice ends up really being self serving fairy tales of a time that never existed. I never give advice. I'll explain similar situations I was in before, what I did, why I did it, and _critically_ what I think I could have done to avoided the effort or to have had a better outcome if I had a second chance at the problem. You can give perspectives. What people do with those is up to them.