3 ms·

these people are boring, words spent talking about nothing is akin to throwing fresh food away, I'm not a psychologist and I have my own problems, why should I

these people are boring, words spent talking about nothing is akin to throwing fresh food away, I'm not a psychologist and I have my own problems, why should I have to listen to others drone on about nothing when we could be working together to fix either or both of our issues.

brailsafe 2y ago
Because much of the time you just haven't realized yet that you don't really know shit about shit, and good friends communicate in a variety of different ways about different subjects, sometimes just listening, sometimes actually helping someone with an issue they've asked for help with. Lack of versatility in that area means one will probably struggle to form more than the most superficial of relationships, because ironically it ends up being more shallow to think you're in a position to do something more impactful than offering your time to listen. It's like coming onto a new team as a junior software dev thinking you'll introduce whatever hot new build tool or refactor the code that sucks that someone wrote 15 years ago, and then getting fired because you're clueless.
resource_waste 2y ago
I agree. My wife basically never gives people feedback unless its positive. She is a people pleaser, popular, all that stuff. No one asks her for advice. I am much more controversial. I have to ignore emails and text messages of people asking for advice because it happens too much. (I'm busy with my own life, the people asking for advice are low-mid tier and wont follow it, people are asking for my expertise for free) I've actually hired other people to be a second brain because my wife cannot give negative feedback.
- fragmede 2y ago
  Fascinating. Can you say more about that? How did you find them and vet them?
  - resource_waste 2y ago
    Found them on the website Indeed, I talked to ~20 people on the phone. I had some screening questions.

brailsafe 2y ago

Because much of the time you just haven't realized yet that you don't really know shit about shit, and good friends communicate in a variety of different ways about different subjects, sometimes just listening, sometimes actually helping someone with an issue they've asked for help with. Lack of versatility in that area means one will probably struggle to form more than the most superficial of relationships, because ironically it ends up being more shallow to think you're in a position to do something more impactful than offering your time to listen. It's like coming onto a new team as a junior software dev thinking you'll introduce whatever hot new build tool or refactor the code that sucks that someone wrote 15 years ago, and then getting fired because you're clueless.

resource_waste 2y ago

I agree. My wife basically never gives people feedback unless its positive. She is a people pleaser, popular, all that stuff. No one asks her for advice. I am much more controversial. I have to ignore emails and text messages of people asking for advice because it happens too much. (I'm busy with my own life, the people asking for advice are low-mid tier and wont follow it, people are asking for my expertise for free) I've actually hired other people to be a second brain because my wife cannot give negative feedback.

fragmede 2y ago
Fascinating. Can you say more about that? How did you find them and vet them?
- resource_waste 2y ago
  Found them on the website Indeed, I talked to ~20 people on the phone. I had some screening questions.