And again, you can tell people that what they're doing is not acceptable or that they're not going to get what they're asking for, without being a jerk, and wit

And again, you can tell people that what they're doing is not acceptable or that they're not going to get what they're asking for, without being a jerk, and without taking extra time. There are literally zero interactions between maintainers and developers that can be improved by being a jerk.