Hello. I have severe ADHD. Focus is fine for me. Almost out of defiance or spite of others with ADHD and without seemingly being ditzy distractible annoying peo

Hello. I have severe ADHD. Focus is fine for me. Almost out of defiance or spite of others with ADHD and without seemingly being ditzy distractible annoying people to me, I've unconsciously decided to be hyper vigilant, I mean let's be real here, isn't it kind of passe to be like all of the other millions of people out there who seemingly always proclaim to be forgetful and distracted and seemingly also not mindful of their thought processes. My issue is motivation and this issue is the hardest thing of all to explain to people who don't get it. Volition and just the ability to do things, even things you want to do, comes at a great cost to my energy, getting started is hard. My life is impacted from my disability. I've had one job in my 36 years and that job was only like a month a couple years ago before I quit. I collect SSI (supplemental security income) food stamps and get my rent adjusted. My diagnosis at the age of 2 was readily apparent to everyone. I'm lucky in that respect. Now I'm not dismissing your issue at all, personally I believe those with distractibility without motivation issues don't fit the bill entirely for ADHD, especially if there's also very little oppositional defiance. Now you seem to be describing your focus in the terms of willpower. I don't know if you're doing that on purpose or out of habit or that's the only way that you view how focus works but maybe that could be a reality tunnel change that you can make for yourself. So why do you consume YouTube 2x speed only and always? I watch everything at 1X speed but that's also because I have all the time in the world I'm guessing you have time pressures and you want to watch something that you want to watch and you don't have the time because you have poor time management skills? How do you work from home? If you can't do work from home... How do you manage it when you tried? Do you dedicate a space that is only for working at home? Do you only use a work provided computer that is separate from everything else? Did you make sure to wake up in the morning take a shower put on some nice clothes and then "go to work" by going into that room that is dedicated for work at home and has your work computer? Getting an ADHD diagnosis is not an excuse for a lack of knowing how to do things. It's not an excuse for not being able to structure yourself. In ADHD diagnosis is not an excuse and it's not anything that could fix anything. It's something that number one allows you to get medication if that helps. Number two it allows you to get focused therapies based on that (but you have to remember that therapy in itself doesn't actually help ADHD directly. There are occupational skills and life skills you could learn that I know I've learned over the years since I was 2 years old that I know other late diagnosed ADHD people Don't seem to have.. but the white paper data does show that medication helps 90% while instruction and behavioral therapy doesn't provide lasting help). Number three it also allows you to get disability services if required. But guess what you could still do all of the therapy stuff without an ADHD diagnosis by simply learning a whole bunch of coping processes for things related. Like if you're doing a whole bunch of things that are uninteresting and you have things around you that are distracting then you're going to be distracted ADHD or not. You just really need to organize and orchestrate your life around set and setting.