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I'm not sure why the author chose to couch the entire issue in these terms... > Pushing hard to advance one’s career during one’s 20s and 30s does not cost men

I'm not sure why the author chose to couch the entire issue in these terms... > Pushing hard to advance one’s career during one’s 20s and 30s does not cost men the opportunity to father children You can easily make the argument that people in their 20's and 30's are hesitant to start families due to the high cost of housing, healthcare and childcare. But the idea that there is an army of otherwise-eligible men who are simply too damn ambitious to start families? That rings completely false to me. It's funny because they go on to offer many of the real problem with forming families and gender relations. Maybe that first part about men and their supposedly irrepressible protestant work ethic was just to soften up men reading the article.

mystified5016 2y ago
> the idea that there is an army of otherwise-eligible men who are simply too damn ambitious to start families Sounds like a platonic fantasy of 1950's USA. Not a thing that is now or ever has been real. There's heaps and scads of other reasons that young people aren't having kids, or are delaying until later in life. Pretty much if someone ever tries to build an argument around "people in this category all think and behave a certain way and there can be no other explanation", you can be fairly confident that that person is an idiot.
antisthenes 2y ago
> Pushing hard to advance one’s career during one’s 20s and 30s does not cost men the opportunity to father children I think this statement is arguably quite false. As you approach your mid to late 30s, your opportunity to find a suitable mate shrinks quite significantly. Perhaps not as significantly as a woman, but a significant amount nonetheless.
- standardUser 2y ago
  That is hard for me to believe. Men are SO much more dateable in their 30's and 40's than in their 20's. There's a reason women traditionally date older men, and only part of it is economics. Though money matters too, and older men tend to have more of it, which does come in handy when starting a family.
  - antisthenes 2y ago
    I have no doubt that it used to be true, but not anymore. Post-2015 mating preferences are very...dynamic, let's say.
    - standardUser 2y ago
      I'm a guy in his early-40's with a very healthy dating life. If there is some issues with men or women in their 30's finding a partner, I don't see it. What I do see if the almost guaranteed catastrophe that befalls couples who marry when they are too young.

mystified5016 2y ago

> the idea that there is an army of otherwise-eligible men who are simply too damn ambitious to start families Sounds like a platonic fantasy of 1950's USA. Not a thing that is now or ever has been real. There's heaps and scads of other reasons that young people aren't having kids, or are delaying until later in life. Pretty much if someone ever tries to build an argument around "people in this category all think and behave a certain way and there can be no other explanation", you can be fairly confident that that person is an idiot.

antisthenes 2y ago

> Pushing hard to advance one’s career during one’s 20s and 30s does not cost men the opportunity to father children I think this statement is arguably quite false. As you approach your mid to late 30s, your opportunity to find a suitable mate shrinks quite significantly. Perhaps not as significantly as a woman, but a significant amount nonetheless.

standardUser 2y ago
That is hard for me to believe. Men are SO much more dateable in their 30's and 40's than in their 20's. There's a reason women traditionally date older men, and only part of it is economics. Though money matters too, and older men tend to have more of it, which does come in handy when starting a family.
- antisthenes 2y ago
  I have no doubt that it used to be true, but not anymore. Post-2015 mating preferences are very...dynamic, let's say.
  - standardUser 2y ago
    I'm a guy in his early-40's with a very healthy dating life. If there is some issues with men or women in their 30's finding a partner, I don't see it. What I do see if the almost guaranteed catastrophe that befalls couples who marry when they are too young.