8 ms·

What worked for you then?

by coolThingsFirst 2y ago

datadrivenangel 2y ago
Becoming a cooler, fitter, more interesting version of yourself
- onemoresoop 2y ago
  That's probably what the "be yourself" advice was getting at. When you try to be someone you're not you show it through your body language, it looks contrived and it's picked up rather quickly. "Be yourself" was probably meant to be more like act less desperate for attention and more confident in oneself, don't try to impress, etc.. But I agree that it is not a good advice to people who do indeed need to improve.
  - mattm 2y ago
    Maybe it should be "become yourself"
    - tetris11 2y ago
      "bootstrap your future now" or "reach into the future and pull the best possible rendition of yourself backwards to now forthwith such that you can become thatself once thineself agrees that it is indeed thou that thou wishes to become"
      - datadrivenangel 2y ago
        Believe in the me who believes in you.
jalapenos 2y ago
Move to a better dating market
- linotype 2y ago
  This is the real answer. If you’re 26 in the Midwest, odds are many of the women a person would date are already married with a kid or two.
  - AnimalMuppet 2y ago
    I'm not really in the market, but I would expect that most Midwest women wouldn't be opposed to dating a man who is a few years older.
  - jalapenos 2y ago
    Not sure about US culture, but this seems to carry a peculiar assumption that men should date around same age? Because I doubt most 20yo women in "midwest" are married with a kid or two. Maybe some bits of cultural bagage you need to shed there.
    - bradlys 2y ago
      The US is also very expensive place to live. If you don’t get with someone similar to yourself, you’re sandbagging your financial situation. Most people can’t afford a single income household here in the US.
    - SkyPuncher 2y ago
      Might not have two kids, but not single is absolutely true. People here tend to find a partner pretty quickly in life. Anecdotally, a friend is trying to date in her early 30s and basically has no dating pool. Not many single men in their 30s have a stable job, crime free background, and avoid hard drugs.
      - jalapenos 2y ago
        A good lesson for everyone: your life's time horizon isn't anywhere close to your life expectancy. There are things you need to get right before 30 if you don't want the rest of your life to be misery.

What worked for you then?

datadrivenangel 2y ago

Becoming a cooler, fitter, more interesting version of yourself

onemoresoop 2y ago
That's probably what the "be yourself" advice was getting at. When you try to be someone you're not you show it through your body language, it looks contrived and it's picked up rather quickly. "Be yourself" was probably meant to be more like act less desperate for attention and more confident in oneself, don't try to impress, etc.. But I agree that it is not a good advice to people who do indeed need to improve.
- mattm 2y ago
  Maybe it should be "become yourself"
  - tetris11 2y ago
    "bootstrap your future now" or "reach into the future and pull the best possible rendition of yourself backwards to now forthwith such that you can become thatself once thineself agrees that it is indeed thou that thou wishes to become"
    - datadrivenangel 2y ago
      Believe in the me who believes in you.

jalapenos 2y ago

Move to a better dating market

linotype 2y ago
This is the real answer. If you’re 26 in the Midwest, odds are many of the women a person would date are already married with a kid or two.
- AnimalMuppet 2y ago
  I'm not really in the market, but I would expect that most Midwest women wouldn't be opposed to dating a man who is a few years older.
- jalapenos 2y ago
  Not sure about US culture, but this seems to carry a peculiar assumption that men should date around same age? Because I doubt most 20yo women in "midwest" are married with a kid or two. Maybe some bits of cultural bagage you need to shed there.
  - bradlys 2y ago
    The US is also very expensive place to live. If you don’t get with someone similar to yourself, you’re sandbagging your financial situation. Most people can’t afford a single income household here in the US.
  - SkyPuncher 2y ago
    Might not have two kids, but not single is absolutely true. People here tend to find a partner pretty quickly in life. Anecdotally, a friend is trying to date in her early 30s and basically has no dating pool. Not many single men in their 30s have a stable job, crime free background, and avoid hard drugs.
    - jalapenos 2y ago
      A good lesson for everyone: your life's time horizon isn't anywhere close to your life expectancy. There are things you need to get right before 30 if you don't want the rest of your life to be misery.