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>I couldn't think of something more unfriendly. A punch to the face. There you go. Asking a young folk if/what are they studying is not unfriendly at all. I a

>I couldn't think of something more unfriendly. A punch to the face. There you go. Asking a young folk if/what are they studying is not unfriendly at all. I am the kind of person that engages in conversations with people around me and I have a never had a negative experience from that, quite the opposite, plenty of times I ended up having a joyful conversation where we both learn things about each other's.

atoav 2y ago
Yeah IF they are studying. If not you are basically telling them they suck for being in that job and not studying. The fact that many people wouldn't even consider that possibility is telling.
- pixxel 2y ago
  We should all stay at home and STFU. JFC.
  - atoav 2y ago
    Nah, just be empathic and don't push your assumptions onto other people. Talking to people is fine, if they want to talk. Asking people stuff is fine, if your questions are sensitive and don't bore them. E.g. asking someone who looks different "which country they are from" that is neither sensitive (you are pushing the assumption they have to be from a different country because they look different) and probably boring (they have heard that a hundred times). Talking to people is fine, just consider what assumption you're pushing onto others and why that might suck for them and you're good.
- moralestapia 2y ago
  >If not you are basically telling them they suck for being in that job and not studying. Not at all. There's literally nothing wrong with asking people if they're studying something or not.
  - atoav 2y ago
    Imagine you are a young woman that dropped out of high school, the best job you ever found is waiting at whatever coffe joint there was in your town. You have seen some similar aged collegues come and go, for most of them the job was a short term job to support their studies. Once a week some customer asks you what you study. How would you feel about that when it happens for the 50th time? This is not empathy-rocket science.
    - dzhiurgis 2y ago
      I'd feel real and own it... One shouldn't be upset by reality or some stranger assuming something. That's part of the reality and others shouldn't be walking on egg shells.
      - atoav 2y ago
        Well I hope you learn the difference between what you portray here and what I said soon. For the benefit of your environment.
CoastalCoder 2y ago
> Asking a young folk if/what are they studying is not unfriendly at all. I am the kind of person that engages in conversations with people around me and I have a never had a negative experience from that, But perhaps they had a negative experience from your words? If you're a paying customer, their ability to make housing and car payments may hinge on being polite to customers like you, no matter how rude. With power dynamics like that, you can't necessarily know if you've offended them.

atoav 2y ago

Yeah IF they are studying. If not you are basically telling them they suck for being in that job and not studying. The fact that many people wouldn't even consider that possibility is telling.

pixxel 2y ago
We should all stay at home and STFU. JFC.
- atoav 2y ago
  Nah, just be empathic and don't push your assumptions onto other people. Talking to people is fine, if they want to talk. Asking people stuff is fine, if your questions are sensitive and don't bore them. E.g. asking someone who looks different "which country they are from" that is neither sensitive (you are pushing the assumption they have to be from a different country because they look different) and probably boring (they have heard that a hundred times). Talking to people is fine, just consider what assumption you're pushing onto others and why that might suck for them and you're good.
moralestapia 2y ago
>If not you are basically telling them they suck for being in that job and not studying. Not at all. There's literally nothing wrong with asking people if they're studying something or not.
- atoav 2y ago
  Imagine you are a young woman that dropped out of high school, the best job you ever found is waiting at whatever coffe joint there was in your town. You have seen some similar aged collegues come and go, for most of them the job was a short term job to support their studies. Once a week some customer asks you what you study. How would you feel about that when it happens for the 50th time? This is not empathy-rocket science.
  - dzhiurgis 2y ago
    I'd feel real and own it... One shouldn't be upset by reality or some stranger assuming something. That's part of the reality and others shouldn't be walking on egg shells.
    - atoav 2y ago
      Well I hope you learn the difference between what you portray here and what I said soon. For the benefit of your environment.

CoastalCoder 2y ago

> Asking a young folk if/what are they studying is not unfriendly at all. I am the kind of person that engages in conversations with people around me and I have a never had a negative experience from that, But perhaps they had a negative experience from your words? If you're a paying customer, their ability to make housing and car payments may hinge on being polite to customers like you, no matter how rude. With power dynamics like that, you can't necessarily know if you've offended them.