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Man I hate when people use the phrase “broken home” unironically. My parents divorced when I was young and I can assure the writer that both of my homes were al

Man I hate when people use the phrase “broken home” unironically. My parents divorced when I was young and I can assure the writer that both of my homes were always whole. Do you know what breaks a home? Two people who no longer want to live together being forced to cohabitate because of regressive notions of the what makes an effective family. Definitely preferred swapping weekends with each parent to having to listen to them fight while they thought I was asleep. Overall this article felt quite broad, moralizing, and assertive with very little actually substantive evidence.

em-bee 2y ago
same here. although my parents lived so far apart that regular visits with the other parent were not possible, i actually felt that them being separated so far was a good thing considering how the two of them just could not get along. the distance did not hurt my own relationship with my absent parent, nor have i ever felt guilty for their separation. neither parent felt the need to talk bad about the other. that said, living with a single parent did plenty of damage to us children, so in that sense we most certainly had a broken home. but the cure for that would probably have been for our parent to find a new partner (which they tried but didn't succeed in because any potential candidates were not interested in children), but most certainly not for my parents to get back together (and i know they tried. from first separation to final divorce it took more than half a decade, and that's probably the time where we kids suffered the most).
johnnyanmac 2y ago
every experience is unique. It's simply that, as a statistic, a non-nuclear home setup is one disproportionately rife with instability, chaos, and sometimes abuse. My single parent did the best for me, but it'd be hard to convince there's a "whole" home, when there were some days where I had to fend for myself with rice and beans a 12 years old, or when rent gets too high and we ended up rooming together with a 2nd single parent family just to stay afloat.
- visarga 2y ago
  You are comparing apples with oranges. Life in a stable family is not like life in a parental war zone. Separated or not, the latter is worse off.
ToucanLoucan 2y ago
Fellow kiddo of divorce here. One of my homes was whole. The other was an absolute shit-show from age 5 to 19, when I stopped talking to them. Bio-dad was useless. In fact, I felt quite represented overall by the article, what with it discussing how poor women will choose no man over a shit man. My mom definitely chose that, and I'm immensely better for it. I'm just disappointed I had to do mandatory visitations. Luckily I got a step dad later on who stepped right up. I wouldn't be who I am today without him, he's awesome.

em-bee 2y ago

same here. although my parents lived so far apart that regular visits with the other parent were not possible, i actually felt that them being separated so far was a good thing considering how the two of them just could not get along. the distance did not hurt my own relationship with my absent parent, nor have i ever felt guilty for their separation. neither parent felt the need to talk bad about the other. that said, living with a single parent did plenty of damage to us children, so in that sense we most certainly had a broken home. but the cure for that would probably have been for our parent to find a new partner (which they tried but didn't succeed in because any potential candidates were not interested in children), but most certainly not for my parents to get back together (and i know they tried. from first separation to final divorce it took more than half a decade, and that's probably the time where we kids suffered the most).

johnnyanmac 2y ago

every experience is unique. It's simply that, as a statistic, a non-nuclear home setup is one disproportionately rife with instability, chaos, and sometimes abuse. My single parent did the best for me, but it'd be hard to convince there's a "whole" home, when there were some days where I had to fend for myself with rice and beans a 12 years old, or when rent gets too high and we ended up rooming together with a 2nd single parent family just to stay afloat.

visarga 2y ago
You are comparing apples with oranges. Life in a stable family is not like life in a parental war zone. Separated or not, the latter is worse off.

ToucanLoucan 2y ago

Fellow kiddo of divorce here. One of my homes was whole. The other was an absolute shit-show from age 5 to 19, when I stopped talking to them. Bio-dad was useless. In fact, I felt quite represented overall by the article, what with it discussing how poor women will choose no man over a shit man. My mom definitely chose that, and I'm immensely better for it. I'm just disappointed I had to do mandatory visitations. Luckily I got a step dad later on who stepped right up. I wouldn't be who I am today without him, he's awesome.