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Child support actually is a transfer payment to the custodial parent with no check any of it goes to the child, 'child support' is a misnomer like 'patriot act'

Child support actually is a transfer payment to the custodial parent with no check any of it goes to the child, 'child support' is a misnomer like 'patriot act'. Taking care of the child is a separate consideration, it can be spent on the kids, shoes, or a case of jack daniels.

dymk 2y ago
Then you can take your ex to court and get custody. It’s not like this situation wasn’t considered.
- toomuchtodo 2y ago
  I’m paying $400/hour for someone’s divorce attorney currently, $5k retainer and will cost at least $10k-$15k in total. Due to it being a no fault state, they’ll be required to pay their ex $2500-$3000/month (not tax deductible, after tax) for at least five years (even though the ex can work and is highly educated; this is a state mandated support formula based on duration of the marriage [~10 years] and each of their incomes). Thankfully no children. This comment ignores the cost and effort required, both to reach an initial settlement and to challenge or modify ongoing custody and financial arrangements until children reach age of maturity. Every time you’re engaging your attorney, the clock is running, and that usually isn’t the only cost.
- IncreasePosts 2y ago
  You aren't going to get custody of your child support payment is $10k/mo and your ex only spends $1k/mo on the child.
- sirspacey 2y ago
  It is not considered. Custody and child support are two separate matters and judges are not allowed to consider child support (its payment or its use) as a part of their decision on custody, per federal law. The custody system does not work at all how you’d intuitively guess. Courts do not put the children with “the best parent.” I’ve so many friends who are in anguish because their children are abused by the custodial parent and the courts refuse to take any action. 90%+ of all custody appeal requests are denied without being heard. Assuming our custody system is reasonable, fair, or expeditious is a luxury only had by those who have never been at its mercy.

dymk 2y ago

Then you can take your ex to court and get custody. It’s not like this situation wasn’t considered.

toomuchtodo 2y ago
I’m paying $400/hour for someone’s divorce attorney currently, $5k retainer and will cost at least $10k-$15k in total. Due to it being a no fault state, they’ll be required to pay their ex $2500-$3000/month (not tax deductible, after tax) for at least five years (even though the ex can work and is highly educated; this is a state mandated support formula based on duration of the marriage [~10 years] and each of their incomes). Thankfully no children. This comment ignores the cost and effort required, both to reach an initial settlement and to challenge or modify ongoing custody and financial arrangements until children reach age of maturity. Every time you’re engaging your attorney, the clock is running, and that usually isn’t the only cost.
IncreasePosts 2y ago
You aren't going to get custody of your child support payment is $10k/mo and your ex only spends $1k/mo on the child.
sirspacey 2y ago
It is not considered. Custody and child support are two separate matters and judges are not allowed to consider child support (its payment or its use) as a part of their decision on custody, per federal law. The custody system does not work at all how you’d intuitively guess. Courts do not put the children with “the best parent.” I’ve so many friends who are in anguish because their children are abused by the custodial parent and the courts refuse to take any action. 90%+ of all custody appeal requests are denied without being heard. Assuming our custody system is reasonable, fair, or expeditious is a luxury only had by those who have never been at its mercy.