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> Then came the question of method. The resounding advice was “Get a hobby.” But I had only a month, and I didn’t think I could learn a new skill while trying t

> Then came the question of method. The resounding advice was “Get a hobby.” But I had only a month, and I didn’t think I could learn a new skill while trying to make friends. As she later wrote in the article, it's not necessary to possess a skill to hang out with others, mere interest is often sufficient. Many hobby "tribes" (for a lack of a better word) have plenty of enthusiasts who will be more than happy to welcome a newcomer and show them around. That may be a friendship in of itself, or that may lead to other friendships centered around some common interest. The deepest of friendships often start in the shallowest of ways, so lowering expectations at the beginning may be useful.

leptons 2y ago
My wife likes riding bikes, and she likes LED and glowy things, so she started riding in several LED night bike rides, where the people cover their bikes with LEDs. She's made so many friends there, and with my tech expertise we've created so many LED things - it's kind of our new hobby. Now she's the belle of the LED ball. It was a very easy place to make new friends of all ages.
- thot_experiment 2y ago
  Lovely! I go to at least one of the bike parties every month (eastbay, sf, san jose or santa cruz) and I too love putting LEDs on my bike (my wheels are encoders :P). Are you local? always fun to talk with fellow LED enthusiasts. To all of you reading who haven't been to a bike party please come out, it's amazing! It's usually about ~10 miles of biking over 4 hours, with two ~45m stops for dancing, usually at a park.
  - bsimpson 2y ago
    There's also the Midnight Mystery Ride: similar, but in the middle of the night
  - leptons 2y ago
    We're in southern California. There's lots of night bike rides, all over the place. Long Beach, Venice Beach, Hollywood, anywhere there's people to spectate - they don't ride to not be seen, lol.
- tjoff 2y ago
  > started riding in several LED night bike rides Several what now? That is lovely though, need a pretty populated area for niches like that to surface. And I do feel like it is one of the things Americans are better than most at.
  - bsimpson 2y ago
    There's an organization called Bike Party in many of the Bay Area cities that does these rides monthly.
  - leptons 2y ago
    >need a pretty populated area for niches like that to surface The potential for finding new friends, or engaging in all kinds of activities is going to be better in big cities. There are LED bike rides in cities all over the world. I'm sure there's even a few in smaller towns.
pavel_lishin 2y ago
It's also flat-out wrong. There are many skills and hobbies you can pick up in a month, or hell, a day. I recently started running some local D&D games, abd I am more than happy to teach folks new to the hobby, and it's very easy to pick up, especially with a supportive group of players & DM. (And given the topic we're discussing, I'm hoping that some of the people I play with end up becoming my friends - though they're not there yet, because as I've said elsewhere, it takes time and we haven't accrued enough yet.)
tennisflyi 2y ago
You don't even have to have learned, you just need to be learning

leptons 2y ago

My wife likes riding bikes, and she likes LED and glowy things, so she started riding in several LED night bike rides, where the people cover their bikes with LEDs. She's made so many friends there, and with my tech expertise we've created so many LED things - it's kind of our new hobby. Now she's the belle of the LED ball. It was a very easy place to make new friends of all ages.

thot_experiment 2y ago
Lovely! I go to at least one of the bike parties every month (eastbay, sf, san jose or santa cruz) and I too love putting LEDs on my bike (my wheels are encoders :P). Are you local? always fun to talk with fellow LED enthusiasts. To all of you reading who haven't been to a bike party please come out, it's amazing! It's usually about ~10 miles of biking over 4 hours, with two ~45m stops for dancing, usually at a park.
- bsimpson 2y ago
  There's also the Midnight Mystery Ride: similar, but in the middle of the night
- leptons 2y ago
  We're in southern California. There's lots of night bike rides, all over the place. Long Beach, Venice Beach, Hollywood, anywhere there's people to spectate - they don't ride to not be seen, lol.
tjoff 2y ago
> started riding in several LED night bike rides Several what now? That is lovely though, need a pretty populated area for niches like that to surface. And I do feel like it is one of the things Americans are better than most at.
- bsimpson 2y ago
  There's an organization called Bike Party in many of the Bay Area cities that does these rides monthly.
- leptons 2y ago
  >need a pretty populated area for niches like that to surface The potential for finding new friends, or engaging in all kinds of activities is going to be better in big cities. There are LED bike rides in cities all over the world. I'm sure there's even a few in smaller towns.

pavel_lishin 2y ago

It's also flat-out wrong. There are many skills and hobbies you can pick up in a month, or hell, a day. I recently started running some local D&D games, abd I am more than happy to teach folks new to the hobby, and it's very easy to pick up, especially with a supportive group of players & DM. (And given the topic we're discussing, I'm hoping that some of the people I play with end up becoming my friends - though they're not there yet, because as I've said elsewhere, it takes time and we haven't accrued enough yet.)

tennisflyi 2y ago

You don't even have to have learned, you just need to be learning