The disconnect seems to be that there is a social mechanism to both recognize self awareness and then select for it, the way there might be for other socially

The disconnect seems to be that there is a social mechanism to both recognize self awareness and then select for it, the way there might be for other socially shared features, like beauty, for example. Likewise if you consider the outcome differences between two people who differ in attractiveness versus differing in self awareness, then those with more of the latter trait seem more likely to succeed, even if they're completely isolated from society. It could be that it won out as an adaptation from an evolutionary perspective because it has more than one category of benefit but to say that it evolved strictly for the social benefit does not seem serious.