it's a classic abuse tactic: if you ask first, people will cry out and if you then do it, it'll be considered escalation on your part. so instead you do it firs

it's a classic abuse tactic: if you ask first, people will cry out and if you then do it, it'll be considered escalation on your part. so instead you do it first, and if possible, do something worse to begin with, and then when there's outcry, you take a small step back, claim to be the reasonable one, and then later on push the rest of the way.