5 ms·

I've been remote for about 12 years, but now after getting divorced and becoming an empty nester, hybrid seems like a much better idea for me. Too lonely when y

I've been remote for about 12 years, but now after getting divorced and becoming an empty nester, hybrid seems like a much better idea for me. Too lonely when you are single to work from home all the time. I also think it would probably be best for most people, not just for socialization, but because most jobs have some level of both collaborative and individualized work. Even though my job is mostly writing code, it is still beneficial to have sessions with peers to brainstorm, design, discuss, etc.

ipaddr 2y ago
Many people have a partner and/or friends and/or social networks of friends. Trying to simulate that through work relationships will make your lonelier. It's hard to rebuild after a divorce but rebuilding in work relationships will make you feel more hollow as you are building on quicksand and when you lose your job or change jobs you lose that network. You are better off going to church on Sunday or finding some other network outside of work. Axe throwing is popular. If your job life changes you shouldn't have to rebuild your social network. Diversity of social networks will help you through things better. Putting all your eggs in a fragile basket of at will employment is setting you up for a crash.
- awelxtr 2y ago
  I was able to build some relationships going to Lindy Hop dancing however the pandemic struck and it was difficult mantaining them
- nunez 2y ago
  I don't think you intended to be condescending with your last comment, but the "go axe throwing" advice that I hear SO, SO, SO OFTEN from WFH advocates is incredibly dismissive. Between kids, work, and old, comfortable friends, adults tend to be very cliquey and unwilling to open up their friend circles. It is very difficult (not impossible) to make friends as an adult for most people (myself included). The office was an environment that made this _more possible_ (certainly not guaranteed), but people seem hell-bent on making that go away. This is becoming even more difficult with the Meetup scene having eroded over the years in favor of walled-garden Facebook groups. Speaking of social settings, about this: > You are better off going to church on Sunday or finding some other network outside of work. Axe throwing is popular. If your job life changes you shouldn't have to rebuild your social network. If you're not religious, church is 100% a non-starter. If you don't have kids, church is even worse. It's very rare to find intentionally child-free couples at church. I've also found that the relationships formed through church are just as likely to be "hollow" as those formed at work. (You can also build some very-long-lasting relationships with old workmates; it happens!)
  - nu11ptr 2y ago
    > It is very difficult (not impossible) to make friends as an adult for most people (myself included). Good to know I'm not alone. It is tough as an adult. > The office was an environment that made this _more possible_ (certainly not guaranteed) MOST jobs after I left the "friends" went with it BUT I have a couple of jobs where I did keep some friends. Some have been friends for 20 years, so yes, not impossible. > If you're not religious, church is 100% a non-starter. Yep, I'm non-religious, non-starter for me
Spartan-S63 2y ago
I see the benefits of in-person collaboration, but they're not a panacea and sometimes slow down productivity. I'm a big fan of the quarterly offsite schedule where once a quarter, your team/org/whatever gets together somewhere and hunkers down for a week of intense collaboration. Then you go back home, keep working remote, and have stronger bonds with teammates and realignment in the direction you're going.

ipaddr 2y ago

Many people have a partner and/or friends and/or social networks of friends. Trying to simulate that through work relationships will make your lonelier. It's hard to rebuild after a divorce but rebuilding in work relationships will make you feel more hollow as you are building on quicksand and when you lose your job or change jobs you lose that network. You are better off going to church on Sunday or finding some other network outside of work. Axe throwing is popular. If your job life changes you shouldn't have to rebuild your social network. Diversity of social networks will help you through things better. Putting all your eggs in a fragile basket of at will employment is setting you up for a crash.

awelxtr 2y ago
I was able to build some relationships going to Lindy Hop dancing however the pandemic struck and it was difficult mantaining them
nunez 2y ago
I don't think you intended to be condescending with your last comment, but the "go axe throwing" advice that I hear SO, SO, SO OFTEN from WFH advocates is incredibly dismissive. Between kids, work, and old, comfortable friends, adults tend to be very cliquey and unwilling to open up their friend circles. It is very difficult (not impossible) to make friends as an adult for most people (myself included). The office was an environment that made this _more possible_ (certainly not guaranteed), but people seem hell-bent on making that go away. This is becoming even more difficult with the Meetup scene having eroded over the years in favor of walled-garden Facebook groups. Speaking of social settings, about this: > You are better off going to church on Sunday or finding some other network outside of work. Axe throwing is popular. If your job life changes you shouldn't have to rebuild your social network. If you're not religious, church is 100% a non-starter. If you don't have kids, church is even worse. It's very rare to find intentionally child-free couples at church. I've also found that the relationships formed through church are just as likely to be "hollow" as those formed at work. (You can also build some very-long-lasting relationships with old workmates; it happens!)
- nu11ptr 2y ago
  > It is very difficult (not impossible) to make friends as an adult for most people (myself included). Good to know I'm not alone. It is tough as an adult. > The office was an environment that made this _more possible_ (certainly not guaranteed) MOST jobs after I left the "friends" went with it BUT I have a couple of jobs where I did keep some friends. Some have been friends for 20 years, so yes, not impossible. > If you're not religious, church is 100% a non-starter. Yep, I'm non-religious, non-starter for me

Spartan-S63 2y ago

I see the benefits of in-person collaboration, but they're not a panacea and sometimes slow down productivity. I'm a big fan of the quarterly offsite schedule where once a quarter, your team/org/whatever gets together somewhere and hunkers down for a week of intense collaboration. Then you go back home, keep working remote, and have stronger bonds with teammates and realignment in the direction you're going.