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One thing that worked for me: think about what you’d do in retirement. Beyond video games/tv/your vice of choice. Then start doing that now. Probably can’t do

One thing that worked for me: think about what you’d do in retirement. Beyond video games/tv/your vice of choice. Then start doing that now. Probably can’t do it to the same extent. But you can usually approximate it some. You’ll be surprised at how life-giving it is, and that’s because it was a real desire buried under a mountain of “should.” And how hard it can be to even figure out what you want to do, and actually follow through on it.

protoman3000 2y ago
This seems like a really good advice. Thanks. Also the addition of "how hard it can be to even figure out what you want to do". This is imo a huge thing. The decision paralysis and fear of doing and being what YOU authentically want - not somebody else, not some rules, not some abstract expectation what your future partner want you to be like, not what your mother/friends/teachers/mentors wants you to be like, not some "rational person" as described below, but you and you only - brings you pain and avoidant behaviors. The avoidant behaviors come with a compounding cost on top and you can spend so much time not actually doing what you want.
- mattgreenrocks 2y ago
  Yeah. It's a hard question, honestly, and I only arrived at a decent answer for me (indie software dev) after sitting with it for a few years. A few things that've been helpful for me: * HealthyGamerGG's Youtube channel (the quarter life crisis vid is excellent) * Self-Care Tips For Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (a lot of people's values were given by their parents) * Therapy * Mindfulness practice
grvdrm 2y ago
Curious: what do you want to do in retirement and how does that differ from what you do day to day?
- mattgreenrocks 2y ago
  Indie software dev and play music seriously. I’ve made a few apps that together generate gas money every month and practice music almost every day, along with getting instruction from a very good teacher. Next step is buying out time from my day job to build my own business further. Also learning more market research, and marketing in general.

protoman3000 2y ago

This seems like a really good advice. Thanks. Also the addition of "how hard it can be to even figure out what you want to do". This is imo a huge thing. The decision paralysis and fear of doing and being what YOU authentically want - not somebody else, not some rules, not some abstract expectation what your future partner want you to be like, not what your mother/friends/teachers/mentors wants you to be like, not some "rational person" as described below, but you and you only - brings you pain and avoidant behaviors. The avoidant behaviors come with a compounding cost on top and you can spend so much time not actually doing what you want.

mattgreenrocks 2y ago
Yeah. It's a hard question, honestly, and I only arrived at a decent answer for me (indie software dev) after sitting with it for a few years. A few things that've been helpful for me: * HealthyGamerGG's Youtube channel (the quarter life crisis vid is excellent) * Self-Care Tips For Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (a lot of people's values were given by their parents) * Therapy * Mindfulness practice

grvdrm 2y ago

Curious: what do you want to do in retirement and how does that differ from what you do day to day?

mattgreenrocks 2y ago
Indie software dev and play music seriously. I’ve made a few apps that together generate gas money every month and practice music almost every day, along with getting instruction from a very good teacher. Next step is buying out time from my day job to build my own business further. Also learning more market research, and marketing in general.