I do not wish to minimize your struggles and your pain. But it seems to me, someone not in your situation, that two things are true: 1. Much of your frustrat

I do not wish to minimize your struggles and your pain. But it seems to me, someone not in your situation, that two things are true: 1. Much of your frustration is not with America, but with your family, and specifically your parents. It is your parents who fought, it is your parents who took in the stranger, it is your parents who beat you, it is your parents who expected that you would get a job and support everyone else so that they could have stability. (I am not an expert, but from what I understand, this is a typical expectation in families that come from third-world cultures.) America isn't magic. Coming here doesn't automatically fix your family. 2. For all that you see that is unfair, or needing improvement, not coming here would have been worse. You make a decent income? You would not have in the village. Your parents fought over money every day? They would have in the village also. You grew up on nothing? You probably would have in the village also. You sacrificed your own opportunity to give your siblings a better life. You're bitter about it. (I probably would be, too.) But it is also an honorable thing. It's honorable in third-world cultures; but I think it even gets some honor in America. (Some. There are also plenty who will mock you for being a sucker. I think they are wrong, but they are there.) Whether honorable or not (I think it was), whether wise or not (perhaps not), you did what you did. It is now water under the bridge. What should you do now? First, don't ALT+F4 life! Instead, what can you change? Can you go to any of your siblings and say, "Look, I gave up my chance at college to give you stability; now I need you to help me with college"? Even if not: Being in America, 30+, making a decent income but no degree... that isn't the worst starting position for the rest of your life. If you sit around and feel bitter, this may be as good as it will ever get. But if you look around, you can probably find some things that would 1) make for a better life for you when you're 35, and 2) be actually within your ability to reach. Start working toward those things. You do not drive a car looking backwards. You did things in the past that, on reflection, you see as people taking advantage of you. You can't change that. But stop looking back at it and start moving forward from where you are. So far this has been mostly about material things. But internally, I think you need to forgive your parents for their own brokenness, and their unreasonable expectations. You need to forgive yourself for letting yourself be taken advantage of. And you also need to stop looking for your own joy in material or financial success. America sells that dream, but it's empty. Things and money don't satisfy. Still try to improve your situation, but the American dream leaves you empty. Make friends that you enjoy spending time with. Find some activities that give you pleasure. I think God is there; find him. In those things you find real joy, real meaning. More money doesn't do it.