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Man, I miss this aspect about ICQ (and the internet from the late 90's). Everyone I met online was awesome and from some far away cool place. And if they were a

Man, I miss this aspect about ICQ (and the internet from the late 90's). Everyone I met online was awesome and from some far away cool place. And if they were anywhere near you - like, let's say, half a day's worth of driving near you - then they were totally down to meet in person!

legohead 2y ago
met my wife from another country on a free penpal website some 25 years ago. wasn't a dating site, just sign up with your email, write a short introduction, and wait for someone to write you.
JoyfulTurkey 2y ago
RIP ICQ. I met met quite a few long distance chat friends on there. Never met anyone in person from there, though. In my area, we had the Cleveland Freenet with an IRC server. Met a lot of friends in real life from there—I believe they also had periodic picnic meetups but I never went to one of those. Briefly dated someone in HS after we met in an IRC channel, and one of my real life friends met his future wife on a freenet in neighboring state that we could access. I also had a personal site that a random girl my age a few states over found. She emailed me and we started corresponding for years over email, AOL/AIM and hand written letters. We still do on occasion. We met in person about 13 years after we first emailed.
spacecadet 2y ago
In the late 90s my brother and I drove our Volvos 3 states away(yes separately, with handheld radios and a gazetteer) to a Volvo only meetup and track day that we found online, really just to put faces to usernames. It was awesome. #turbobricks
- givemeethekeys 2y ago
  I don't understand why this is being downvoted, but I had a similar experience meeting some people from an online community that I'd been a part of - drove 300 clicks to meet them and they looked nothing like I'd imagined them to be! It was a very cool time - we just called each other by our handles because that felt more natural than using the real names. My handle was more embarrassing out loud than it was on the internet :).
  - em-bee 2y ago
    My handle was more embarrassing out loud hah, i had a similar experience. originally i spelt my nick "embe", but once i heard someone on an in person meeting pronounce it with a stress on the first e, and a short low stress second e, that sounded totally wrong, so i changed the spelling to "embee" to get them to pronounce it right.
  - spacecadet 2y ago
    LOL I know why, Im a salty old hacker that leaves tons of mean comments on hacker news. KARMA.
wvenable 2y ago
I met my wife on ICQ. There were a bunch of filters you could apply to random chat function (age / location / etc) and then you could just randomly chat with someone. I met a lot of people that way.
somenameforme 2y ago
The era just prior was even better IMO. BBSes were the best - bulletin board systems. Basically they were locally hosted servers, mostly ran on dial up connections. So they were almost entirely local, and usually with no more than one or two people on at the same time - though some hosts went crazy. I remember one guy had a 16 line connection! Games, chat, file sharing, and all of the best parts of the internet, with none of what it's turned into. And all 100% local. 'Hey guys up for a BBQ this weekend?' was a thing. It also had a way better sex ratio, for reasons I don't really understand in hindsight. It was at least ~30% female. Many a match was made on those sites, not just hookup stuff, but people actually forming real relationships.
- JoyfulTurkey 2y ago
  My go to game on our local BBS was Legend of the Red Dragon.
  - somenameforme 2y ago
    I spent far too many hours playing Trade Wars. It's really a game that I think would probably do well with a reboot. Such amazing depth, room for unlimited players, and such a great strategic layer. There was also that one game where you went deep down into some dungeon, and had the option of taking various drugs for buffs while also dealing with side effects. It was weird, and fun.
- varjag 2y ago
  BBSes certainly lacked the global reach.
  - wenc 2y ago
    Being local was an advantage. As a 15 year old kid, I met so many people from BBSes in real life who were much older than me, but we had all the same reference points because we were all local. The older folks took care of the younger folks because we were all part of the same community. And contrary to what people might think, BBSes weren't full of neckbeards. There were people from all walks of life (lawyers, doctors, people with families, singles, men, women, kids like me). For something so "techie" it was unexpectedly diverse. I remember my BBS days fondly. I wish we had something similar that was local (and no, not like Next Door which is full of busybodies and complainers)
kredd 2y ago
Although I was a bit too young, but the haydays of ICQ and Yahoo Group chats were mesmerizing. It was kinda remarkable how I never thought “a comment has a financial motive behind it” like I do while scrolling through Twitter or Reddit. Or maybe I just grew up.
InexSquirrel 2y ago
How do you see ICQ being different to something like Discord these days? I joined the internet at the tail end of ICQ just before things like MSN Messenger started becoming a mainstay for my immediate group, so am curious.
- givemeethekeys 2y ago
  ICQ had two groups: - Your immediate friends who you personally knew and exchanged ICQ numbers with to add each other. You couldn't just find them... you needed to know their numbers. - Everyone else you "found" by searching / randomly connecting with when they / you set your status to "Free to Chat" as opposed to just "Online". Features: - Until the MSN Messenger / AOL IM years, ICQ was p2p - both parties needed to be online in order for conversations to take place. So, in a way there was a more skin in the game in order for it to work. Conversations meant more. Community: - It being the early days of the internet, it felt more special - ICQ, BBS, IRC, and web forums is how people found each other. There was no Reddit, even Digg came much later.
harry_ord 2y ago
My experience was with gamefaqs. The regional boards, where I lived was small enough for one but had a lot of active users. Made quite a few friends and it helped me get my first provisional job
jackstraw14 2y ago
Those really were the days. Met a few people online back then that I would have called real friends, but I didn't even know their real name.
manuelmoreale 2y ago
I know it’s not the same thing but I had a blog for 7 years, I always tell people to email if they want to engage and had hundreds of exchanges with people from all over that were nothing but a delight. It’s still possible to have great digital interactions, it just takes a bit of effort.

legohead 2y ago

met my wife from another country on a free penpal website some 25 years ago. wasn't a dating site, just sign up with your email, write a short introduction, and wait for someone to write you.

JoyfulTurkey 2y ago

RIP ICQ. I met met quite a few long distance chat friends on there. Never met anyone in person from there, though. In my area, we had the Cleveland Freenet with an IRC server. Met a lot of friends in real life from there—I believe they also had periodic picnic meetups but I never went to one of those. Briefly dated someone in HS after we met in an IRC channel, and one of my real life friends met his future wife on a freenet in neighboring state that we could access. I also had a personal site that a random girl my age a few states over found. She emailed me and we started corresponding for years over email, AOL/AIM and hand written letters. We still do on occasion. We met in person about 13 years after we first emailed.

spacecadet 2y ago

In the late 90s my brother and I drove our Volvos 3 states away(yes separately, with handheld radios and a gazetteer) to a Volvo only meetup and track day that we found online, really just to put faces to usernames. It was awesome. #turbobricks

givemeethekeys 2y ago
I don't understand why this is being downvoted, but I had a similar experience meeting some people from an online community that I'd been a part of - drove 300 clicks to meet them and they looked nothing like I'd imagined them to be! It was a very cool time - we just called each other by our handles because that felt more natural than using the real names. My handle was more embarrassing out loud than it was on the internet :).
- em-bee 2y ago
  My handle was more embarrassing out loud hah, i had a similar experience. originally i spelt my nick "embe", but once i heard someone on an in person meeting pronounce it with a stress on the first e, and a short low stress second e, that sounded totally wrong, so i changed the spelling to "embee" to get them to pronounce it right.
- spacecadet 2y ago
  LOL I know why, Im a salty old hacker that leaves tons of mean comments on hacker news. KARMA.

wvenable 2y ago

I met my wife on ICQ. There were a bunch of filters you could apply to random chat function (age / location / etc) and then you could just randomly chat with someone. I met a lot of people that way.

somenameforme 2y ago

The era just prior was even better IMO. BBSes were the best - bulletin board systems. Basically they were locally hosted servers, mostly ran on dial up connections. So they were almost entirely local, and usually with no more than one or two people on at the same time - though some hosts went crazy. I remember one guy had a 16 line connection! Games, chat, file sharing, and all of the best parts of the internet, with none of what it's turned into. And all 100% local. 'Hey guys up for a BBQ this weekend?' was a thing. It also had a way better sex ratio, for reasons I don't really understand in hindsight. It was at least ~30% female. Many a match was made on those sites, not just hookup stuff, but people actually forming real relationships.

JoyfulTurkey 2y ago
My go to game on our local BBS was Legend of the Red Dragon.
- somenameforme 2y ago
  I spent far too many hours playing Trade Wars. It's really a game that I think would probably do well with a reboot. Such amazing depth, room for unlimited players, and such a great strategic layer. There was also that one game where you went deep down into some dungeon, and had the option of taking various drugs for buffs while also dealing with side effects. It was weird, and fun.
varjag 2y ago
BBSes certainly lacked the global reach.
- wenc 2y ago
  Being local was an advantage. As a 15 year old kid, I met so many people from BBSes in real life who were much older than me, but we had all the same reference points because we were all local. The older folks took care of the younger folks because we were all part of the same community. And contrary to what people might think, BBSes weren't full of neckbeards. There were people from all walks of life (lawyers, doctors, people with families, singles, men, women, kids like me). For something so "techie" it was unexpectedly diverse. I remember my BBS days fondly. I wish we had something similar that was local (and no, not like Next Door which is full of busybodies and complainers)

kredd 2y ago

Although I was a bit too young, but the haydays of ICQ and Yahoo Group chats were mesmerizing. It was kinda remarkable how I never thought “a comment has a financial motive behind it” like I do while scrolling through Twitter or Reddit. Or maybe I just grew up.

InexSquirrel 2y ago

How do you see ICQ being different to something like Discord these days? I joined the internet at the tail end of ICQ just before things like MSN Messenger started becoming a mainstay for my immediate group, so am curious.

givemeethekeys 2y ago
ICQ had two groups: - Your immediate friends who you personally knew and exchanged ICQ numbers with to add each other. You couldn't just find them... you needed to know their numbers. - Everyone else you "found" by searching / randomly connecting with when they / you set your status to "Free to Chat" as opposed to just "Online". Features: - Until the MSN Messenger / AOL IM years, ICQ was p2p - both parties needed to be online in order for conversations to take place. So, in a way there was a more skin in the game in order for it to work. Conversations meant more. Community: - It being the early days of the internet, it felt more special - ICQ, BBS, IRC, and web forums is how people found each other. There was no Reddit, even Digg came much later.

harry_ord 2y ago

My experience was with gamefaqs. The regional boards, where I lived was small enough for one but had a lot of active users. Made quite a few friends and it helped me get my first provisional job

jackstraw14 2y ago

Those really were the days. Met a few people online back then that I would have called real friends, but I didn't even know their real name.

manuelmoreale 2y ago

I know it’s not the same thing but I had a blog for 7 years, I always tell people to email if they want to engage and had hundreds of exchanges with people from all over that were nothing but a delight. It’s still possible to have great digital interactions, it just takes a bit of effort.