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Do you think it's because of whatever brain damage they may have encountered, or because they could not find meaning in their civilian lives? I've read it's oft

by ein0p 2y ago

Do you think it's because of whatever brain damage they may have encountered, or because they could not find meaning in their civilian lives? I've read it's often the latter in military men, especially the ones that really believed in the mission and experienced highly stressful life or death situations. They come back and they're taken aback by the mundane bullshit that our lives are in comparison to what they've been through. Intuitively that rings true, but having never served, I can't fully relate.

snakeyjake 2y ago
>Do you think it's because of whatever brain damage they may have encountered, or because they could not find meaning in their civilian lives? I have no idea. Strangely the most common thread seems to be the ones who off themselves went back home after getting out. Almost everyone I know who got out and stayed away from home is doing ok. Almost everyone I know who got out and went back home is a wreck. Some had TBI exposures, some didn't.
- nightowl_games 2y ago
  What do you mean by stayed away from home? Like stayed away from the wife and kids? For how long?
  - snakeyjake 2y ago
    Going home means going back to their hometown after getting out.
- wrp 2y ago
  I've heard similar comments from civilians, that dealing with extreme situations overseas isn't as stressful as dealing with folks when you go back home. I don't know whether home folks are actually the problem or it's just delayed response. I think it was T. E. Lawrence (of Arabia) who said that reactions to the trauma of war continue to bubble up long afterwards. Maybe that is suppressed for as long as you stay "in the field."
- elmomle 2y ago
  This makes a lot of sense. People are fundamentally changed by their experiences in combat zones. I'd imagine that going somewhere new afterwards allows you to be whoever you now are on your own terms, whereas going home means continually experiencing the pain of no longer fitting in to the life and loving relationship that you'd had before, with no relief in sight.
  - morkalork 2y ago
    Could also be the difference between having a plan with long term goals that leads you to a new city vs not knowing what to do next and defaulting to just going back home. Maybe it's not that home is bad, but the fact you ended up there.
    - xattt 2y ago
      > Maybe it's not that home is bad, but the fact you ended up there. Particularly when vocational and transition supports are available from the VA.
  - dansult 2y ago
    Changed maybe but not a whole new person. And its not binary - my experiences will different to yours even if we were in the exact same situations. After two tours I am not so different that I cannot interface with friends or family as I did before. I think the misconception of this statement does more harm then good and shows a rather negative interpretation of combat veterans.
  - SoftTalker 2y ago
    It's not exactly uncommon for people to join the military to get away from an unsatisfying or low-opportunity home life. Ending up back at the place you wanted to get away from could be pretty depressing.
- ocschwar 2y ago
  Sounds like what makes military service a good path is that 1. enlisting puts you in a better place than the previous day or 2. the time in the service enables a step up of some kind afterwards.
munificent 2y ago
> Do you think it's because of whatever brain damage they may have encountered, or because they could not find meaning in their civilian lives? Why not both? One of the key challenges with taking care of humans is that we rarely have the luxury of having only a single problem at a time.
- ein0p 2y ago
  Because if we are to address this problem we have to identify the primary cause.
  - deleted 2y ago
    [deleted]
  - shkkmo 2y ago
    If a problem has multiple causes, only addressing one of them seem like a mistake.
    - jader201 2y ago
      If there is a more likely single “tipping point”, solving for that one may be easier and therefore more likely to have an impact.
    - vasco 2y ago
      That's the destructive wasteful thinking of "every little bit helps". 80/20 can be applied to almost everything and looking at the second top factor of anything is a waste of time until you properly looked at the first and can't do anymore.
      - enugu 2y ago
        In a multi-stage process, even if you fix the cause with 80% responsibility, the outcome may not improve by much, as there is failure now at another stage. Of course, fixing that single cause is still progress.
AYBABTME 2y ago
This feeling doesn't last forever though. It fades relatively quickly, all things considered.

by ein0p 2y ago

snakeyjake 2y ago

>Do you think it's because of whatever brain damage they may have encountered, or because they could not find meaning in their civilian lives? I have no idea. Strangely the most common thread seems to be the ones who off themselves went back home after getting out. Almost everyone I know who got out and stayed away from home is doing ok. Almost everyone I know who got out and went back home is a wreck. Some had TBI exposures, some didn't.

nightowl_games 2y ago
What do you mean by stayed away from home? Like stayed away from the wife and kids? For how long?
- snakeyjake 2y ago
  Going home means going back to their hometown after getting out.
wrp 2y ago
I've heard similar comments from civilians, that dealing with extreme situations overseas isn't as stressful as dealing with folks when you go back home. I don't know whether home folks are actually the problem or it's just delayed response. I think it was T. E. Lawrence (of Arabia) who said that reactions to the trauma of war continue to bubble up long afterwards. Maybe that is suppressed for as long as you stay "in the field."
elmomle 2y ago
This makes a lot of sense. People are fundamentally changed by their experiences in combat zones. I'd imagine that going somewhere new afterwards allows you to be whoever you now are on your own terms, whereas going home means continually experiencing the pain of no longer fitting in to the life and loving relationship that you'd had before, with no relief in sight.
- morkalork 2y ago
  Could also be the difference between having a plan with long term goals that leads you to a new city vs not knowing what to do next and defaulting to just going back home. Maybe it's not that home is bad, but the fact you ended up there.
  - xattt 2y ago
    > Maybe it's not that home is bad, but the fact you ended up there. Particularly when vocational and transition supports are available from the VA.
- dansult 2y ago
  Changed maybe but not a whole new person. And its not binary - my experiences will different to yours even if we were in the exact same situations. After two tours I am not so different that I cannot interface with friends or family as I did before. I think the misconception of this statement does more harm then good and shows a rather negative interpretation of combat veterans.
- SoftTalker 2y ago
  It's not exactly uncommon for people to join the military to get away from an unsatisfying or low-opportunity home life. Ending up back at the place you wanted to get away from could be pretty depressing.
ocschwar 2y ago
Sounds like what makes military service a good path is that 1. enlisting puts you in a better place than the previous day or 2. the time in the service enables a step up of some kind afterwards.

munificent 2y ago

> Do you think it's because of whatever brain damage they may have encountered, or because they could not find meaning in their civilian lives? Why not both? One of the key challenges with taking care of humans is that we rarely have the luxury of having only a single problem at a time.

ein0p 2y ago
Because if we are to address this problem we have to identify the primary cause.
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
- shkkmo 2y ago
  If a problem has multiple causes, only addressing one of them seem like a mistake.
  - jader201 2y ago
    If there is a more likely single “tipping point”, solving for that one may be easier and therefore more likely to have an impact.
  - vasco 2y ago
    That's the destructive wasteful thinking of "every little bit helps". 80/20 can be applied to almost everything and looking at the second top factor of anything is a waste of time until you properly looked at the first and can't do anymore.
    - enugu 2y ago
      In a multi-stage process, even if you fix the cause with 80% responsibility, the outcome may not improve by much, as there is failure now at another stage. Of course, fixing that single cause is still progress.

AYBABTME 2y ago

This feeling doesn't last forever though. It fades relatively quickly, all things considered.