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'I think lots of people tend to objectify the homeless, to think of them as somehow less than, or fundamentally different from, "decent society".' In some case

'I think lots of people tend to objectify the homeless, to think of them as somehow less than, or fundamentally different from, "decent society".' In some cases people avoid the homeless for safety reasons. I've seen a few get violent over small or nonexistent issues. Obviously that's not everyone. But it can be enough for people to avoid interacting and potentially upsetting someone who might be unstable. How did the divorce make him homeless? I'm not doubting it, but just wondering the mechanism. I know one person that ended up homeless eventually semi related to divorce. They had large child support payments, had an accident and went into a coma, lost their job and the support payments drained their account while in the coma (nobody petitioned the court for an adjustment due to his coma), and the court issued a warrant over the unpaid support. Then they couldn't find a good job due to the unpaid support and warrant.

JohnFen 2y ago
> In some cases people avoid the homeless for safety reasons I know, and I understand this. The homeless population does have a substantial number of people who are mentally or emotionally broken. The fear is understandable, but a bit of a shame because in the years I've been interacting with these people, I've seen several people who were very agitated but I've never personally been seriously threatened or endangered. But I do carry pepper spray with me, just in case. > How did the divorce make him homeless? I'm not doubting it, but just wondering the mechanism. As I understand it, through a combination of legal fees and that he became unable to function during the process, leading him to losing his job. You're right to doubt it. Everyone tells their stories with a spin that puts them in the most favorable light possible, and his story doesn't add up in several ways (but that could be because he was giving an emotional retelling of highlights, not testimony). In my opinion, when someone tells me their story, it doesn't actually matter if it's true or not, and I don't even try to make such an assessment. I'm not their judge and jury, and I'm not trying to assess how great of a person they are. I'm just there to listen, and that's all I do.
- giantg2 2y ago
  I was mostly interested in the mechanisms in his story because I'm concerned that could happen to me one day.
  - JohnFen 2y ago
    I can't tell his story, but I can tell mine. I had experienced a divorce that left me destitute as well. The difference with me is that I had friends who carried me until I could get back on my feet. In my case, unknown to me, my (now ex) wife had incurred an eye-watering amount of debt. When we divorced, I discovered that she had drained all of our savings on top of the debt. By the time I'd figured everything out, it was all gone. I was left with less to my name than I had when I moved out of my parent's house as a youth. I could have prevented that, though. I had personal savings that she didn't have access to. But as she kept putting our shared account into the negative, I just kept making it good again, and paying the fees, out of my personal savings. I did that for a long time. When we finally split and all the accounts were put on the table, I had enough money to pay off the accumulated debt, but no more than that. Denial is a real thing, and it's what did me in on this count.

JohnFen 2y ago

> In some cases people avoid the homeless for safety reasons I know, and I understand this. The homeless population does have a substantial number of people who are mentally or emotionally broken. The fear is understandable, but a bit of a shame because in the years I've been interacting with these people, I've seen several people who were very agitated but I've never personally been seriously threatened or endangered. But I do carry pepper spray with me, just in case. > How did the divorce make him homeless? I'm not doubting it, but just wondering the mechanism. As I understand it, through a combination of legal fees and that he became unable to function during the process, leading him to losing his job. You're right to doubt it. Everyone tells their stories with a spin that puts them in the most favorable light possible, and his story doesn't add up in several ways (but that could be because he was giving an emotional retelling of highlights, not testimony). In my opinion, when someone tells me their story, it doesn't actually matter if it's true or not, and I don't even try to make such an assessment. I'm not their judge and jury, and I'm not trying to assess how great of a person they are. I'm just there to listen, and that's all I do.

giantg2 2y ago
I was mostly interested in the mechanisms in his story because I'm concerned that could happen to me one day.
- JohnFen 2y ago
  I can't tell his story, but I can tell mine. I had experienced a divorce that left me destitute as well. The difference with me is that I had friends who carried me until I could get back on my feet. In my case, unknown to me, my (now ex) wife had incurred an eye-watering amount of debt. When we divorced, I discovered that she had drained all of our savings on top of the debt. By the time I'd figured everything out, it was all gone. I was left with less to my name than I had when I moved out of my parent's house as a youth. I could have prevented that, though. I had personal savings that she didn't have access to. But as she kept putting our shared account into the negative, I just kept making it good again, and paying the fees, out of my personal savings. I did that for a long time. When we finally split and all the accounts were put on the table, I had enough money to pay off the accumulated debt, but no more than that. Denial is a real thing, and it's what did me in on this count.