3 ms·
Opposite-sex couples in Sweden, and more broadly across the world, tend to fall into a manager-helper dynamics, in which the mother takes on the full administra
by austin-cheney 2y ago
Opposite-sex couples in Sweden, and more broadly across the world, tend to fall into a manager-helper dynamics, in which the mother takes on the full administrative and mental workload and only delegates specific tasks for the father to fulfil. This is a dynamic that over time seems inevitable and impossible to break.
In most couples I am personally aware of, both now and in the past, most males DO NOT want this. Early in marriage females tend to want this, especially if the given female is not heavily invested in a career. It seems to be both empowering and task sharing so that the male can focus on bread winning, but it’s a control play, a game of personalities and power distribution. This becomes clear later in marriage as both financial responsibilities and children mature and may be a primary factor in relationship resentment.
- arghnoname 2y agoIt's just easier for individuals to 'own' certain shared responsibilities, but inevitably the other can be prone to resent having lesser participation and access to the positives of the other's responsibility (e.g., time with children, career aspirations). Since we now live in a time where there are fewer social constraints in how households are arranged, people really should be explicit in what they want and revisit the issue periodically to minimize resentment.
- shermantanktop 2y agoIt can change over time. The deal that makes sense in house with toddlers may not make sense when the kids are gone and the primary breadwinner has gained many responsibilities. Nobody anticipates this, because the patterns are set 20 years before. What I described is maybe stereotypical, but the point remains that relationships tend to stick to patterns even while conditions change.