2 ms·

> feel immoral > any company spouting DEI and still supporting networking is hypocritical Not to take anything away from your personal situation, but this is

> feel immoral > any company spouting DEI and still supporting networking is hypocritical Not to take anything away from your personal situation, but this is a self-defeating mindset to have. People, i.e. social humans in companies, are WIRED to seek out known quantities. Networking and having someone vouch for you is not some scheme to subvert some utopian idea of meritocracy, but really an evolutionary social dynamic response. We pick people like us, we pick people we like, we pick people who can improve the group, we pick people who can do things for the group. (having your own strong network is also something you can bring to the group in the form of more referrals, and potentially new clients etc.) Which is also why alumni networks are a thing. There's no trick, and networking doesn't need to be sleazy, and it isn't immoral. Be likable, reach out to people, ask them for help, offer to help them. Ironically, and arguably, the biggest threat to this is LinkedIn which lets people build a huge network that is only puddle deep. Those 1000 connections on linkedin are worth less than 5 deep connections you've had coffee chats or lunch with in your same city and same industry.

giantg2 2y ago
"We pick people like us, we pick people we like," This is exactly the type of bias that marginalizes people like me. "There's no trick, and networking doesn't need to be sleazy, and it isn't immoral." It doesn't need to be, but it overwhelmingly ends up that way. It often completely cuts out anyone from the outgroup or unknown, even if they are deserving candidates. It leads to wasted effort from candidates when the person being picked is essentially a forgone conclusion. I've had friends offer to open a posting for me for a promotion in the company. These sort of backroom deals are wrong. "but really an evolutionary social dynamic response." Just because something is evolutionary doesn't make it right. Insider trading is essentially the same thing, but for securities, yet that's illegal.
- kingkongjaffa 2y ago
  > Just because something is evolutionary doesn't make it right. True, but you’re not going to be able change it either via evolution or culture change, so rather than make excuses and complain you might as well try to understand the best you can and figure out path that works for you within an unfair and unaccommodating system. Back on topic Regarding OP, the book “never eat alone” is a great way to learn this stuff and anyone wanting to improve tactics and mindset for networking should read it.
  - giantg2 2y ago
    I don't know about that. Isn’t the whole point of DEI to undo evolution that results in tribal organization, stereotyping, etc?
    - threeseed 2y ago
      DEI is about being inclusive. The very thing you are wanting from this world. And not sure what exactly you keep implying by using words like similar, tribal organisation, stereotyping etc. But humans form relationships around many things that have nothing to do with gender, race etc. For example sports, hobbies, work etc.
      - giantg2 2y ago
        "For example sports, hobbies, work etc." So you think culture, hobbies, etc, can't form biases?

giantg2 2y ago

"We pick people like us, we pick people we like," This is exactly the type of bias that marginalizes people like me. "There's no trick, and networking doesn't need to be sleazy, and it isn't immoral." It doesn't need to be, but it overwhelmingly ends up that way. It often completely cuts out anyone from the outgroup or unknown, even if they are deserving candidates. It leads to wasted effort from candidates when the person being picked is essentially a forgone conclusion. I've had friends offer to open a posting for me for a promotion in the company. These sort of backroom deals are wrong. "but really an evolutionary social dynamic response." Just because something is evolutionary doesn't make it right. Insider trading is essentially the same thing, but for securities, yet that's illegal.

kingkongjaffa 2y ago
> Just because something is evolutionary doesn't make it right. True, but you’re not going to be able change it either via evolution or culture change, so rather than make excuses and complain you might as well try to understand the best you can and figure out path that works for you within an unfair and unaccommodating system. Back on topic Regarding OP, the book “never eat alone” is a great way to learn this stuff and anyone wanting to improve tactics and mindset for networking should read it.
- giantg2 2y ago
  I don't know about that. Isn’t the whole point of DEI to undo evolution that results in tribal organization, stereotyping, etc?
  - threeseed 2y ago
    DEI is about being inclusive. The very thing you are wanting from this world. And not sure what exactly you keep implying by using words like similar, tribal organisation, stereotyping etc. But humans form relationships around many things that have nothing to do with gender, race etc. For example sports, hobbies, work etc.
    - giantg2 2y ago
      "For example sports, hobbies, work etc." So you think culture, hobbies, etc, can't form biases?