2 ms·

Ask HN: What purposes of interpersonal communication are the most difficult?

6 points by hto_tam 2y ago

Here are a few examples of purposes of interpersonal communication: explain something, convince someone of something, give feedback, propose something, encourage someone, motivate and so on.

barrenko 2y ago
Difficult to grok? We need other people to regulate our own limbic system. Try to think about that one.
austin-cheney 2y ago
You are confusing content for expression/listening. It’s like confusing a computer for electricity. That or you are merely misusing the word purpose. If you want to be better at interpersonal communication you need to be excellent at listening. Empaths find this comes naturally but people with learning disabilities and/or autism will find this impossibly challenging while perhaps convincing themselves of self-mastery. Listening and expression come in three dimensions: verbal (the words), vocal (use of voice), and physical (the rest of the body). You need to pay attention to all three. Dishonesty is when those three are in conflict. Most people are not good at this and have no idea just how bad they are at it.
- hto_tam 2y ago
  I agree with you, instead of the word purpose it would be better to use the word goal. And it's an interesting thought that dishonesty is when verbal, vocal and physical dimensions are in conflict.
caprock 2y ago
I'd say the most difficult are convincing someone of something (persuasion) and giving feedback. Persuasion is maybe the most difficult outcome to achieve. Giving feedback is the most emotionally challenging and nuanced for both parties. And of course giving feedback is often attempting persuasion too. Occasionally, just listening and not trying to inject your own intents is hardest.
dcminter 2y ago
Interpersonal communication consists, by definition, of at least two parties. Do you never find it difficult to understand, to be persuaded, to accept feedback, to take on a proposal, to be encouraged, or motivated by someone? If you're only ever the transmitter of those things then I don't think you're actually communicating; you're just orating. Not to mention that "being friendly", "satisfying interest", and other reasons exist to communicate. Not everything is about your agenda. Maybe internalising that is hardest? (A bit pompous but you take my point, right?)
- hto_tam 2y ago
  I agree with your point. Certainly, reacting to influence attempts, accepting feedback, and the others are also goals of interpersonal communication. Have you ever tried or thought about categorizing these goals?
muzani 2y ago
When someone wants something but chooses not to say it directly. Feedback often fails because someone doesn't want to acknowledge their flaws.

6 points by hto_tam 2y ago

Here are a few examples of purposes of interpersonal communication: explain something, convince someone of something, give feedback, propose something, encourage someone, motivate and so on.

barrenko 2y ago

Difficult to grok? We need other people to regulate our own limbic system. Try to think about that one.

austin-cheney 2y ago

You are confusing content for expression/listening. It’s like confusing a computer for electricity. That or you are merely misusing the word purpose. If you want to be better at interpersonal communication you need to be excellent at listening. Empaths find this comes naturally but people with learning disabilities and/or autism will find this impossibly challenging while perhaps convincing themselves of self-mastery. Listening and expression come in three dimensions: verbal (the words), vocal (use of voice), and physical (the rest of the body). You need to pay attention to all three. Dishonesty is when those three are in conflict. Most people are not good at this and have no idea just how bad they are at it.

hto_tam 2y ago
I agree with you, instead of the word purpose it would be better to use the word goal. And it's an interesting thought that dishonesty is when verbal, vocal and physical dimensions are in conflict.

caprock 2y ago

I'd say the most difficult are convincing someone of something (persuasion) and giving feedback. Persuasion is maybe the most difficult outcome to achieve. Giving feedback is the most emotionally challenging and nuanced for both parties. And of course giving feedback is often attempting persuasion too. Occasionally, just listening and not trying to inject your own intents is hardest.

dcminter 2y ago

Interpersonal communication consists, by definition, of at least two parties. Do you never find it difficult to understand, to be persuaded, to accept feedback, to take on a proposal, to be encouraged, or motivated by someone? If you're only ever the transmitter of those things then I don't think you're actually communicating; you're just orating. Not to mention that "being friendly", "satisfying interest", and other reasons exist to communicate. Not everything is about your agenda. Maybe internalising that is hardest? (A bit pompous but you take my point, right?)

hto_tam 2y ago
I agree with your point. Certainly, reacting to influence attempts, accepting feedback, and the others are also goals of interpersonal communication. Have you ever tried or thought about categorizing these goals?

muzani 2y ago

When someone wants something but chooses not to say it directly. Feedback often fails because someone doesn't want to acknowledge their flaws.