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> I also think asshole behavior is a subjective label in many cases. It is absolutely subjective, but I think the advice still applies: "No assholes" means no

> I also think asshole behavior is a subjective label in many cases. It is absolutely subjective, but I think the advice still applies: "No assholes" means no assholes, regardless of your definition. That said, I also see a lot of assholes hide behind this reasoning. "I'm not a jerk, your culture is just weak." In my experience, 9 times out of 10, they really are just a jerk.

Bluestein 2y ago
(The whole concept of "weak" - vs. ostensibly, "strong" cultures is one dangerous proposition, itself ...)
- wakawaka28 2y ago
  I know where you're going with that but some cultures really are better in some ways. I don't think cultures that overly promote conformity and are "strong" for example. Nor are ones that tolerate too much corruption or dysfunctional behavior. Neither are ones that have no sense of self-preservation and allow infinite outside influence.
wakawaka28 2y ago
I'm not even just talking about people who are way outside the norm when it comes to behavior, like the "I'm just blunt/honest" or contrarian type. Some people legitimately rub each other the wrong way, or else can't be read easily. They have different senses of humor and cultural backgrounds. When people start off with a bias or misunderstanding, it's easier to get frustrated and think the other person is an asshole. Here's an example. I literally had to sit through a HR training video where some people were pissing and moaning about a guy using sports metaphors they didn't understand. Instead of pissing and moaning about it, you know they could just educate themselves about that tiny bit of someone else's life. I'm sure that the guy would love to explain it to them, and enough people needing an explanation would make him reconsider his metaphors. There are times when the metaphors people use may be inappropriate, but is a basic sports metaphor in the US really so unacceptable? The choice of actors in that video also paints a troubling picture about whose culture is welcome or not.

Bluestein 2y ago

(The whole concept of "weak" - vs. ostensibly, "strong" cultures is one dangerous proposition, itself ...)

wakawaka28 2y ago
I know where you're going with that but some cultures really are better in some ways. I don't think cultures that overly promote conformity and are "strong" for example. Nor are ones that tolerate too much corruption or dysfunctional behavior. Neither are ones that have no sense of self-preservation and allow infinite outside influence.

wakawaka28 2y ago

I'm not even just talking about people who are way outside the norm when it comes to behavior, like the "I'm just blunt/honest" or contrarian type. Some people legitimately rub each other the wrong way, or else can't be read easily. They have different senses of humor and cultural backgrounds. When people start off with a bias or misunderstanding, it's easier to get frustrated and think the other person is an asshole. Here's an example. I literally had to sit through a HR training video where some people were pissing and moaning about a guy using sports metaphors they didn't understand. Instead of pissing and moaning about it, you know they could just educate themselves about that tiny bit of someone else's life. I'm sure that the guy would love to explain it to them, and enough people needing an explanation would make him reconsider his metaphors. There are times when the metaphors people use may be inappropriate, but is a basic sports metaphor in the US really so unacceptable? The choice of actors in that video also paints a troubling picture about whose culture is welcome or not.