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> But they feel it especially at work, because that's the place that they interact with other people the most, so it's the place where there should be the best

> But they feel it especially at work, because that's the place that they interact with other people the most, so it's the place where there should be the best chance of real human contact. And it's not there. The worst part is, modern workplace is actively hostile to creating meaningful interpersonal bonds, while it keeps a face of being ridiculously welcoming and inclusive. When you are in such environment it's hard to spot that the game is rigged, and you blame yourself for your interpersonal failures.

AnimalMuppet 2y ago
I'm not saying you're wrong. But would you (or anyone) mind listing the ways that you think that the modern workplace is "actively hostile to creating meaningful interpersonal bonds"?
- anal_reactor 2y ago
  1. Telling people about their shortcomings will result in them retaliating, instead of improving or explaining why this isn't possible. So you just secretly hate them for being stupid instead of creating dialogue 2. The HR officially encourages people to escalate all and any issues, instead of having people deal with things between themselves. This makes me distrustful because people can be smiling towards me while gathering evidence about my mistakes to make a complaint 3. All conflicts are resolved according to "who is technically right" instead of "who is a better human". Think of all the people who got a promotion by throwing their coworker under a bus because technically speaking they didn't break any rules. This is selective breeding of shitty people 4. Negative behaviors are heavily punished, while positive behaviors are not rewarded. Nobody cares that you helped out many people in need, if you said something mean because you were having a bad day or you simply misread the situation, you're out 5. Companies discourage employees from discussing difficult topics that could potentially bridge gaps between people 6. We collectively accept "at work pretend to be whoever your employer wants you to be" as a normal thing
  - ryandrake 2y ago
    > Think of all the people who got a promotion by throwing their coworker under a bus because technically speaking they didn't break any rules. This is selective breeding of shitty people It creates an org chart where everyone "above you" is shitty, and those people, by virtue of being above you, are the role models that you look to for hints on how to behave. So if you're not shitty, you start to conclude that you need to either at least act shitty to get promoted, or leave. Eventually, the company is entirely full of either shitty people or good people cosplaying as shitty people.
  - deskr 2y ago
    You're 100% correct. I have noticed though that in small startups (perhaps around 5 people) you have much less of these problems. Perhaps that's the reason for why they can be so incredibly productive.

AnimalMuppet 2y ago

I'm not saying you're wrong. But would you (or anyone) mind listing the ways that you think that the modern workplace is "actively hostile to creating meaningful interpersonal bonds"?

anal_reactor 2y ago
1. Telling people about their shortcomings will result in them retaliating, instead of improving or explaining why this isn't possible. So you just secretly hate them for being stupid instead of creating dialogue 2. The HR officially encourages people to escalate all and any issues, instead of having people deal with things between themselves. This makes me distrustful because people can be smiling towards me while gathering evidence about my mistakes to make a complaint 3. All conflicts are resolved according to "who is technically right" instead of "who is a better human". Think of all the people who got a promotion by throwing their coworker under a bus because technically speaking they didn't break any rules. This is selective breeding of shitty people 4. Negative behaviors are heavily punished, while positive behaviors are not rewarded. Nobody cares that you helped out many people in need, if you said something mean because you were having a bad day or you simply misread the situation, you're out 5. Companies discourage employees from discussing difficult topics that could potentially bridge gaps between people 6. We collectively accept "at work pretend to be whoever your employer wants you to be" as a normal thing
- ryandrake 2y ago
  > Think of all the people who got a promotion by throwing their coworker under a bus because technically speaking they didn't break any rules. This is selective breeding of shitty people It creates an org chart where everyone "above you" is shitty, and those people, by virtue of being above you, are the role models that you look to for hints on how to behave. So if you're not shitty, you start to conclude that you need to either at least act shitty to get promoted, or leave. Eventually, the company is entirely full of either shitty people or good people cosplaying as shitty people.
- deskr 2y ago
  You're 100% correct. I have noticed though that in small startups (perhaps around 5 people) you have much less of these problems. Perhaps that's the reason for why they can be so incredibly productive.