5 ms·

A low effort chatbot is an accurate representation of the type of responses most men are used to from women on dating sites. This is not a misogynistic comment

by _yb2s 2y ago

A low effort chatbot is an accurate representation of the type of responses most men are used to from women on dating sites. This is not a misogynistic comment or snark, but a result of the fact that women tend to have a large number of people messaging them.

afavour 2y ago
You may well be correct but I don’t think it’s that relevant here. Dating sites were much less prevalent when AM was at its peak and presumably the average user married (and left the dating pool) years before that peak, even. I just don’t buy that there were that many AM users thinking “this checks out with my prior experience in dating sites so it’s plausible”. They just weren’t thinking critically at all.
- _yb2s 2y ago
  I disagree- it will also check out with their real world experience. Most men are used to women being cagey, aloof, and showing low interest in real life. They will assume they either need to try harder to interest her, or that she is playing “hard to get.”
  - afavour 2y ago
    Your precious comment might not have been misogynistic but you’re rapidly approaching it here. As a man I can’t say I am “used to women being cagey and aloof”. There are plenty of cagey and aloof people out there in the world, I don’t see anything gender specific about it.
    - _yb2s 2y ago
      Just like above, this is not a negative statement about women but about understanding how their experience is different. Women are used to being approached and pursued by men that they usually aren’t interested in, and might even be dangerous. A positive response would invite more unwanted attention. An attractive women in a crowded public space is often experiencing men trying to initiate some type of interaction (often aggressively so) every few minutes. Men’s experience with women also varies a lot depending on how they look, and their social skills among other things.
      - ryandrake 2y ago
        I think at least everyone can agree to a less controversial statement: The user experience of a (heterosexual) dating site is vastly different for men than it is for women, just as the experience of IRL courting is vastly different for man than it is for women.

by _yb2s 2y ago

afavour 2y ago

You may well be correct but I don’t think it’s that relevant here. Dating sites were much less prevalent when AM was at its peak and presumably the average user married (and left the dating pool) years before that peak, even. I just don’t buy that there were that many AM users thinking “this checks out with my prior experience in dating sites so it’s plausible”. They just weren’t thinking critically at all.

_yb2s 2y ago
I disagree- it will also check out with their real world experience. Most men are used to women being cagey, aloof, and showing low interest in real life. They will assume they either need to try harder to interest her, or that she is playing “hard to get.”
- afavour 2y ago
  Your precious comment might not have been misogynistic but you’re rapidly approaching it here. As a man I can’t say I am “used to women being cagey and aloof”. There are plenty of cagey and aloof people out there in the world, I don’t see anything gender specific about it.
  - _yb2s 2y ago
    Just like above, this is not a negative statement about women but about understanding how their experience is different. Women are used to being approached and pursued by men that they usually aren’t interested in, and might even be dangerous. A positive response would invite more unwanted attention. An attractive women in a crowded public space is often experiencing men trying to initiate some type of interaction (often aggressively so) every few minutes. Men’s experience with women also varies a lot depending on how they look, and their social skills among other things.
    - ryandrake 2y ago
      I think at least everyone can agree to a less controversial statement: The user experience of a (heterosexual) dating site is vastly different for men than it is for women, just as the experience of IRL courting is vastly different for man than it is for women.