4 ms·
> You don't have to date them, but you do that by saying "no trans women" in your profile. That would get your account banned on most dating apps, including th
by flexibil 2y ago
> You don't have to date them, but you do that by saying "no trans women" in your profile.
That would get your account banned on most dating apps, including the most popular one for "lesbian" dating.
e.g. this article [1] discusses the experience of a lesbian woman who did just that:
> Without the ability to filter out men, who could pick any identity they liked on the app, some female users took it upon themselves to signify that they were only interested in other women by adding it to their bio or including a photo with logos that signified exclusive same-sex attraction.
> These women found themselves quite literally forced off the app.
> Jen, a lesbian user known on Twitter as @cbucksrules, told Reduxx was suspended after adding "no trans women" to her bio on HER because she was exclusively same-sex attracted.
> Jen had joined HER in late 2021 looking for a female partner and assuming a lesbian dating app would be the place to go for such an endeavor. Finding a veritable smorgasbord of 5 o'clock shadows and head tilts, Jen attempted to ensure she would only be contacted by other female users.
> "I [wrote] in my bio what I would not consider the opposite sex as a partner nor a woman who was not a proud woman as we would not be compatible."
> Shortly after, Jen was suspended. She wrote to HER's customer service and asked why, and received a snarky response from an agent named "Devin" berating her for using "hateful language" in her bio, and asserting "trans women are women."
[1] https://reduxx.info/from-her-to-him-the-downfall-of-a-lesbian-dating-app https://reduxx.info/from-her-to-him-the-downfall-of-a-lesbia...
- jfengel 2y agoThe article here discusses what happened at HER. They had been trans-accepting, and then got hammered by right-wingers. I don't know why HER cared what right wingers thought of them.
- flexibil 2y agoI remember seeing the reaction to this on Twitter. For the most part, it was actual lesbian women who were furious about HER banning users who politely stated in their profiles that they're not interested in dating males. The bait-and-switch of inviting males to what was previously advertised as a lesbian dating space was of course already unpopular, but kicking actual lesbians off the platform for asserting their sexual orientation was what definitively crossed the line into a larger backlash. It wasn't really anything much to do with conservatives / right-wingers, even if some of them did pass comment when word spread of how lesbian women were being treated by this app.
- jfengel 2y agoI'm not a woman, much less a lesbian, so I can't speak for them. I do know that they are going to get stuck either way. It is undoubtedly true that people have the right to have preferences. Some preferences are taboo to state. You don't have to date black women, but there is no language to say that without running into a history that includes a lot of violence. Lesbians date very differently from straight women, and I wouldn't presume to tell them their business. But it wouldn't surprise me if their best play was to forbid that kind of language, and just ask people to not accept offers they don't want. Of course if there are men pretending to be trans women, that is a different story. Harassment is always wrong. In real life the number of men pretending to be trans women is small to the point of non-existent. Trolling is safer online, so they will have to moderate that the hard way.
- flexibil 2y ago> Some preferences are taboo to state. Yes and I find it troubling that homosexuality is now in this category. That a lesbian will be reprimanded for stating she's not interested in males is an awfully regressive step back towards when same-sex sexual orientation had to be hidden away and closeted.