4 ms·

Being too kind can also be negative, I prefer honesty and reality above the rest.

wesselbindt 2y ago
I too think that being too x, where x is any adjective, is a bad thing. I much prefer people being just the right amount of y, where y is any adjective.
makeitdouble 2y ago
You could say that hiding or refraining from giving critical feedback is not kindness.
- mirekrusin 2y ago
  If this phrase can mean anything, it doesn't mean anything anymore. Ie. you could also say that egoism is being kind to yourself etc.
  - wtetzner 2y ago
    I interpreted it to mean that lying to someone isn't actually being kind, even if that was the intention.
  - makeitdouble 2y ago
    I see "being kind" as towards others in the context of this discussion. If I feel I'm doing a disservice to the person by not speaking up, but still stay silent because I don't want to be confrontational or harsh, I don't think I'm being kind to the person. I'm only protecting the relation or myself, as I don't have the tools or a path to convey helpful information while making clear I'm having the person's good in mind. I see it as a failure in communication (it usually can be blamed on both parties), and clearly not a character quality.
    - mirekrusin 2y ago
      I can also argue that "being smart" means I recognize feelings of others, because not doing it is stupid - so that implies kindness.
- Kalium 2y ago
  This article readily conflates niceness and kindness. It would be very easy to read this and take away the understanding that critical feedback that leaves a person feeling in any way negative is not kindness.
mrfinn 2y ago
Honesty doesn't conflict in any way with kindness, but with being "nice". Actually I think is a requirement of being genuinely kind.
- mirekrusin 2y ago
  Being smart also doesn't conflict with kindness - if anything, they go together.
erikerikson 2y ago
This seems to misunderstand kind Kindness reduces barriers to accepting the honest truth and is thus part of maximizing honesty and realism.
- mirekrusin 2y ago
  ...now let's call person who understands it all a smart person. Now it's all clear – being smart is the best.

I too think that being too x, where x is any adjective, is a bad thing. I much prefer people being just the right amount of y, where y is any adjective.

makeitdouble 2y ago

You could say that hiding or refraining from giving critical feedback is not kindness.

mirekrusin 2y ago
If this phrase can mean anything, it doesn't mean anything anymore. Ie. you could also say that egoism is being kind to yourself etc.
- wtetzner 2y ago
  I interpreted it to mean that lying to someone isn't actually being kind, even if that was the intention.
- makeitdouble 2y ago
  I see "being kind" as towards others in the context of this discussion. If I feel I'm doing a disservice to the person by not speaking up, but still stay silent because I don't want to be confrontational or harsh, I don't think I'm being kind to the person. I'm only protecting the relation or myself, as I don't have the tools or a path to convey helpful information while making clear I'm having the person's good in mind. I see it as a failure in communication (it usually can be blamed on both parties), and clearly not a character quality.
  - mirekrusin 2y ago
    I can also argue that "being smart" means I recognize feelings of others, because not doing it is stupid - so that implies kindness.
Kalium 2y ago
This article readily conflates niceness and kindness. It would be very easy to read this and take away the understanding that critical feedback that leaves a person feeling in any way negative is not kindness.

mrfinn 2y ago

Honesty doesn't conflict in any way with kindness, but with being "nice". Actually I think is a requirement of being genuinely kind.

mirekrusin 2y ago
Being smart also doesn't conflict with kindness - if anything, they go together.

erikerikson 2y ago

This seems to misunderstand kind Kindness reduces barriers to accepting the honest truth and is thus part of maximizing honesty and realism.

mirekrusin 2y ago
...now let's call person who understands it all a smart person. Now it's all clear – being smart is the best.