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I have learned to avoid group chats. I don't mind actual in person groups, but either group chats I've been in have a serious veneer of in-authenticity or just

I have learned to avoid group chats. I don't mind actual in person groups, but either group chats I've been in have a serious veneer of in-authenticity or just sheer group think. I know this isolates me from a lot of people especially today who prefer meeting on discord but that's okay, it isn't for me. Chat works for a lot of things but I've never found it to be that great for socialising. Again, I suppose this is atypical now, but I always prefer in person meetings or phone calls and probably always will. Voice chat is probably better but since that usually precludes being part of a text chat in the first place, I haven't had a chance to try.

the_snooze 2y ago
>The best ones are a “forever dinner party” – good friends and conversation happening in perpetuity. I took the piece as mainly talking about group chats among people who already mostly know each other offline. From my experience, these are indeed really good, because the high barrier to entry keeps weird randos out and establishes a high floor for common interests and understanding. They're an online extension of in-person groups, not a substitute for them.
distances 2y ago
I agree, I really don't like chatty group chats. In-person meetings are great as you have very high engagement for a defined time, whereas a group chat has low engagement on a constant burn. Which I find super consuming. My preferred use of group chats (and 1-to-1 chats too!) is mainly just to arrange live meetings / calls. If a discussion gets going in the chat itself, I'll just have to silence the whole chat for a day or a week and read the messages later in one sitting.
pavel_lishin 2y ago
> Chat works for a lot of things but I've never found it to be that great for socialising. I think it works for some, but not others. I get something like 80% of my socializin' done via my various group chats - but I'm very heavily introverted. (And for what it's worth, I would absolutely loathe voice chats.()
deleted 2y ago
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titanomachy 2y ago
My various group chats are each a community of 3-8 close friends I've picked up from different stages of my life. They allow me to keep these relationships alive in between in-person gatherings.

the_snooze 2y ago

>The best ones are a “forever dinner party” – good friends and conversation happening in perpetuity. I took the piece as mainly talking about group chats among people who already mostly know each other offline. From my experience, these are indeed really good, because the high barrier to entry keeps weird randos out and establishes a high floor for common interests and understanding. They're an online extension of in-person groups, not a substitute for them.

distances 2y ago

I agree, I really don't like chatty group chats. In-person meetings are great as you have very high engagement for a defined time, whereas a group chat has low engagement on a constant burn. Which I find super consuming. My preferred use of group chats (and 1-to-1 chats too!) is mainly just to arrange live meetings / calls. If a discussion gets going in the chat itself, I'll just have to silence the whole chat for a day or a week and read the messages later in one sitting.

pavel_lishin 2y ago

> Chat works for a lot of things but I've never found it to be that great for socialising. I think it works for some, but not others. I get something like 80% of my socializin' done via my various group chats - but I'm very heavily introverted. (And for what it's worth, I would absolutely loathe voice chats.()

deleted 2y ago

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titanomachy 2y ago

My various group chats are each a community of 3-8 close friends I've picked up from different stages of my life. They allow me to keep these relationships alive in between in-person gatherings.