3 ms·

Thank you for the inspiration as I continue my gender transition. I appreciate your struggles and dedication to living a life that was "for you" and not for any

by meifun 2y ago

Thank you for the inspiration as I continue my gender transition. I appreciate your struggles and dedication to living a life that was "for you" and not for anyone else. RIP.

startupsfail 2y ago
[flagged]
- bo0tzz 2y ago
  What are you trying to say?
  - KolmogorovComp 2y ago
    That as a child seeing a parent struggle deeply has a very strong impact on their wellbeing? This is obviously true, but it is unclear had they not undergone transition the children would have come better. For the children it has probably not been worse than a bad divorce that unfortunately happens way more often. And to pursue the analogy, it is often hard to tell what is best for them, keep an unhappy marriage until they leave the house, or cut it short as soon as possible to leave more time to re-create stability afterwards.
    - bowsamic 2y ago
      One of the main things I’ve learnt undergoing psychoanalysis is how much pain and repression is caused by not allowing ourselves to admit that our parents are not perfect. For example I still to this day try to construct ideal people and am shocked when they show that they are still fallible humans, because I never fully accepted that my dad isn’t perfect, even if I know it intellectually Going forth into the world and realising it is not going to look after us is a vital realisation that all humans must go through
  - adamomada 2y ago
    You don’t live your life exclusively for you after you have kids, I think
    - zdimension 2y ago
      Most would agree that a trans parent is better than a dead parent, though.
      - meifun 2y ago
        I'd agree here. As a trans parent I have worried about what living an often non-socially acceptable lifestyle would do to them. But then I see the acceptance as my daughter proudly introduces me as her "mama" to her whole class. I'm a better parent alive living my truth than I am an "unalived" parent leaving a gap for those that loved me for me.
        nicolas_t 2y ago
        It's heartwarming to see this from your daughter. Never doubt that you're a better parent alive living your truth and that your daughter is grateful for you being there for her. Best of luck for continuing your transition.
        meifun 2y ago
        Thank you friend!
        startupsfail 2y ago
        [flagged]
  - startupsfail 2y ago
    [flagged]
- tedajax 2y ago
  [flagged]
0xbadcafebee 2y ago
Sad but poignant during Pride month. Even in the US, we still have so many people who oppress those who are different, in gender, sexual orientation, relationship style, etc. Lynn suffered that oppression. Yet despite it, she achieved great things. I'll think of her whenever I see a Pride flag this month.
- skeeter2020 2y ago
  >> Yet despite it, she achieved great things. correction: achieved great things TWICE.
  - DonHopkins 2y ago
    Way more than that: two professional achievements, and innumerable personal achievements of all the people she reached and helped, many of whom have posted here, but also so many more. And not just helping trans people live, but helping cis people understand. Here's an important point that Lynn makes in her retrospective, about how LGBTQ diversity benefits everyone, especially outstanding women: https://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/Retrospective6.html https://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/Retrospective6.html >Not only that, but many companies are now sensitive to the fact that locations known to be "GLBT friendly", such as Austin, TX and the Research Triangle, NC are able to attract outstanding employees (especially outstanding women employees) who are not GLB or T, but who want to work in an environment that is welcoming of diversity. More and more bright young people are recognizing that conformist environments that are not welcoming of diversity may not be welcoming of new ideas either, and do not want to work at such places. >[Note: This concept has gotten a lot of attention recently in high-tech circles, especially due to the work of Richard Florida, founder and director of the Software Industry Center at Pittsburgh's Carnegie Mellon University. Florida is Professor of Regional Economic Development at CMU, and is a pioneering cartographer of talent. The January 2001 issue of the on-Line magazine Fast Company described Florida's work, including the significance of the so-called "Gay Index" in an article entitled Where Are You on the Talent Map (https://web.archive.org/web/20010331103840/https://www.fastcompany.com/online/42/pp_florida.html https://web.archive.org/web/20010331103840/https://www.fastc...). For more information this important work, see https://web.archive.org/web/20030112122356/http://www.brook.edu/dybdocroot/urban/floridaexsum.htm https://web.archive.org/web/20030112122356/http://www.brook....]

by meifun 2y ago

Thank you for the inspiration as I continue my gender transition. I appreciate your struggles and dedication to living a life that was "for you" and not for anyone else. RIP.

startupsfail 2y ago

[flagged]

bo0tzz 2y ago
What are you trying to say?
- KolmogorovComp 2y ago
  That as a child seeing a parent struggle deeply has a very strong impact on their wellbeing? This is obviously true, but it is unclear had they not undergone transition the children would have come better. For the children it has probably not been worse than a bad divorce that unfortunately happens way more often. And to pursue the analogy, it is often hard to tell what is best for them, keep an unhappy marriage until they leave the house, or cut it short as soon as possible to leave more time to re-create stability afterwards.
  - bowsamic 2y ago
    One of the main things I’ve learnt undergoing psychoanalysis is how much pain and repression is caused by not allowing ourselves to admit that our parents are not perfect. For example I still to this day try to construct ideal people and am shocked when they show that they are still fallible humans, because I never fully accepted that my dad isn’t perfect, even if I know it intellectually Going forth into the world and realising it is not going to look after us is a vital realisation that all humans must go through
- adamomada 2y ago
  You don’t live your life exclusively for you after you have kids, I think
  - zdimension 2y ago
    Most would agree that a trans parent is better than a dead parent, though.
    - meifun 2y ago
      I'd agree here. As a trans parent I have worried about what living an often non-socially acceptable lifestyle would do to them. But then I see the acceptance as my daughter proudly introduces me as her "mama" to her whole class. I'm a better parent alive living my truth than I am an "unalived" parent leaving a gap for those that loved me for me.
      - nicolas_t 2y ago
        It's heartwarming to see this from your daughter. Never doubt that you're a better parent alive living your truth and that your daughter is grateful for you being there for her. Best of luck for continuing your transition.
        meifun 2y ago
        Thank you friend!
      - startupsfail 2y ago
        [flagged]
- startupsfail 2y ago
  [flagged]
tedajax 2y ago
[flagged]

0xbadcafebee 2y ago

Sad but poignant during Pride month. Even in the US, we still have so many people who oppress those who are different, in gender, sexual orientation, relationship style, etc. Lynn suffered that oppression. Yet despite it, she achieved great things. I'll think of her whenever I see a Pride flag this month.

skeeter2020 2y ago
>> Yet despite it, she achieved great things. correction: achieved great things TWICE.
- DonHopkins 2y ago
  Way more than that: two professional achievements, and innumerable personal achievements of all the people she reached and helped, many of whom have posted here, but also so many more. And not just helping trans people live, but helping cis people understand. Here's an important point that Lynn makes in her retrospective, about how LGBTQ diversity benefits everyone, especially outstanding women: https://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/Retrospective6.html https://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/Retrospective6.html >Not only that, but many companies are now sensitive to the fact that locations known to be "GLBT friendly", such as Austin, TX and the Research Triangle, NC are able to attract outstanding employees (especially outstanding women employees) who are not GLB or T, but who want to work in an environment that is welcoming of diversity. More and more bright young people are recognizing that conformist environments that are not welcoming of diversity may not be welcoming of new ideas either, and do not want to work at such places. >[Note: This concept has gotten a lot of attention recently in high-tech circles, especially due to the work of Richard Florida, founder and director of the Software Industry Center at Pittsburgh's Carnegie Mellon University. Florida is Professor of Regional Economic Development at CMU, and is a pioneering cartographer of talent. The January 2001 issue of the on-Line magazine Fast Company described Florida's work, including the significance of the so-called "Gay Index" in an article entitled Where Are You on the Talent Map (https://web.archive.org/web/20010331103840/https://www.fastcompany.com/online/42/pp_florida.html https://web.archive.org/web/20010331103840/https://www.fastc...). For more information this important work, see https://web.archive.org/web/20030112122356/http://www.brook.edu/dybdocroot/urban/floridaexsum.htm https://web.archive.org/web/20030112122356/http://www.brook....]