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Psa for anyone who has tried this or similar advice and found that: it actually feels physically impossible to force yourself to do things when you want to, as

Psa for anyone who has tried this or similar advice and found that: it actually feels physically impossible to force yourself to do things when you want to, as though you’re trying to push an immovable object, and has found that even did you manage to start something, you just feel more exhausted rather than motivated to continue. Please consider getting tested for adhd, because I spent years of my life not understanding why well meaning advice like this just made things worse for me.

cwover 2y ago
Thank you for posting this. You wrote it better than I could. Much respect and appreciation to the parent commenter for the good insights; for some of us though, that first bullet point is a bit of a sore spot. When I initially read the first bullet point I had to close my browser for a while. For decades, I tried to "just do things" or "find meaning in tasks" or do whatever other advice I could find. About a year ago, I finally went to a doctor, got diagnosed, and started trying different medications. It took months to find the right combo of meds, but once we did I was astonished at how I could now also "just do things" (at least, for part of each day). The meds aren't perfect--I have good days and not-so-good days--but I am thankful to have some predictability now as to when I will be functional. Also, for those starting out, it might take a few tries to find the right med(s). For me, just a stimulant or just an antidepressant didn't do much, but a stimulant and an antidepressant together has made a great improvement in my life.
localghost3000 2y ago
Diagnosed. Today is day 1 of meds. Wish me luck!! Everything the GP comment said is still worth considering. It’s just that you might need some assistance if you’re neurodivergent. Also remember that it’s a spectrum and to be kind to yourself.
- soulofmischief 2y ago
  Good luck, hoping the best for you. ADHD is no joke, it can be extremely debilitating. I was force-fed medication throughout my childhood and couldn't stand the physical side effects, which opened the door for several abuse-related traumas. Now that I'm approaching 30, I am considering getting back on medication. For the last 15 years, I've relied solely on caffeine and weed to medicate which is great for what it is, but just not enough, and sometimes counteractive to my goals.
  - localghost3000 2y ago
    I am 11 years sober now. I used to self medicate with alcohol and drugs. It worked but it also stunted me in ways that I am only now reckoning with. There are a ton of options out there for you to try these days. I'd recommend discussing with a medical professional and see what your options are. :) Regardless, if you are struggling with ADHD, I would recommend going on youtube and looking at videos by a guy named Russell Barkley. He's got a bunch and wow did I feel seen after watching a few of them.
    - soulofmischief 2y ago
      I appreciate that, I'll look at some of his videos later. I consider myself highly functioning, despite an extremely debilitating case of ADHD, thanks to strong coping mechanisms. But I just am mostly tired of feeling overwhelmed while working through my task list. I'd like it to just be easier, the cognitive load is too much these days. I've been prescribed just about any ADHD medication you can think of, but they all pale in comparison to solid coping mechanisms. I know my options are basically adderall or vyvanse, and I know how I react to them. Caffeine is a decent substitute most days. What it comes down to is my aversion to the physical response of amphetamine, as well as the long-term implications of blasting my brain with speed every day. I haven't had any drug problems, I take a rational, knowledge-driven approach to the disorder. But I want to feel like I'm at 130%, not 80%. I'll probably return to vyvanse, just much lower doses than I used to be prescribed, and see how that shakes out. It's hard for people without this disorder to really appreciate the implications. I just lost a best friend last year over his toxic behavior and insensitivity around what he believes is a made-up disease, despite overwhelming evidence for a genetic explanation involving reduced dopamine uptake.
      - localghost3000 2y ago
        Dude that sucks on your friend. I feel you. I’ve lost a lot of people for the same reason. It’s hard for people to accept that it’s not a moral failing. All I can say is that the ones who really matter will try to meet you halfway. I too am high functioning and have a system that mostly works for keeping food on the table and the lights on. Professionally I’m doing great in fact. That said, a lot of personal stuff has fallen through the cracks and continues to. Hence the meds. I’m also working with a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD and it’s been really helpful. Highly recommend.
taneq 2y ago
After decades of frustration it turns out that 'discipline' and 'motivation' are available from the local chemist. You're not actually a bad person. Store bought is fine. You might even find that things like to-do lists and calendars, which everyone always told you to try 'because they make it easier', suddenly actually work for you. Not meditation, though. F**k that.
- nuancebydefault 2y ago
  Little pills make a universe of difference.
- FuckButtons 2y ago
  Almost, the ones you can get from the chemist are kind of a blunt instrument unlike the ones normal people get, since it just elevates the dopamine levels in the brain continuously, rather than in response to stimuli.
viccis 2y ago
I think I'm gonna try for an official diagnosis soon. It's bad enough that it has been giving me issues for years, but I had the benefit of a very low stress easy job. I've switched to a much more rewarding and challenging job, but have found out the hard way that living with ADHD has completely burned out any drive I had, so I need to get it sorted out before I run out of runway.
thoughtFrame 2y ago
Can you explain how ADHD and things being hard in the way you describe are connected? I don't see the connection, but if it's the case, I should go see a doctor...
- FuckButtons 2y ago
  At a very high level, the answer is Dopamine. Normal peoples brains have a ready supply of it available and their brains generate some in preparation for doing a task and then continue to generate more as they keep working on things, this is the task positive reward loop keeping the brain focused. For people with adhd, this entire feedback loop is more or less fucked. You don’t get dopamine as you start a task, you don’t get it when you persist with a task, and you don’t get it when you complete a task. So getting things done basically provides no reward, as a result all you get is the negatives from doing the thing, it tires you out and depletes the dopamine reserves you do have available.
- ahaferburg 2y ago
  https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40273239 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40273239

cwover 2y ago

Thank you for posting this. You wrote it better than I could. Much respect and appreciation to the parent commenter for the good insights; for some of us though, that first bullet point is a bit of a sore spot. When I initially read the first bullet point I had to close my browser for a while. For decades, I tried to "just do things" or "find meaning in tasks" or do whatever other advice I could find. About a year ago, I finally went to a doctor, got diagnosed, and started trying different medications. It took months to find the right combo of meds, but once we did I was astonished at how I could now also "just do things" (at least, for part of each day). The meds aren't perfect--I have good days and not-so-good days--but I am thankful to have some predictability now as to when I will be functional. Also, for those starting out, it might take a few tries to find the right med(s). For me, just a stimulant or just an antidepressant didn't do much, but a stimulant and an antidepressant together has made a great improvement in my life.

localghost3000 2y ago

Diagnosed. Today is day 1 of meds. Wish me luck!! Everything the GP comment said is still worth considering. It’s just that you might need some assistance if you’re neurodivergent. Also remember that it’s a spectrum and to be kind to yourself.

soulofmischief 2y ago
Good luck, hoping the best for you. ADHD is no joke, it can be extremely debilitating. I was force-fed medication throughout my childhood and couldn't stand the physical side effects, which opened the door for several abuse-related traumas. Now that I'm approaching 30, I am considering getting back on medication. For the last 15 years, I've relied solely on caffeine and weed to medicate which is great for what it is, but just not enough, and sometimes counteractive to my goals.
- localghost3000 2y ago
  I am 11 years sober now. I used to self medicate with alcohol and drugs. It worked but it also stunted me in ways that I am only now reckoning with. There are a ton of options out there for you to try these days. I'd recommend discussing with a medical professional and see what your options are. :) Regardless, if you are struggling with ADHD, I would recommend going on youtube and looking at videos by a guy named Russell Barkley. He's got a bunch and wow did I feel seen after watching a few of them.
  - soulofmischief 2y ago
    I appreciate that, I'll look at some of his videos later. I consider myself highly functioning, despite an extremely debilitating case of ADHD, thanks to strong coping mechanisms. But I just am mostly tired of feeling overwhelmed while working through my task list. I'd like it to just be easier, the cognitive load is too much these days. I've been prescribed just about any ADHD medication you can think of, but they all pale in comparison to solid coping mechanisms. I know my options are basically adderall or vyvanse, and I know how I react to them. Caffeine is a decent substitute most days. What it comes down to is my aversion to the physical response of amphetamine, as well as the long-term implications of blasting my brain with speed every day. I haven't had any drug problems, I take a rational, knowledge-driven approach to the disorder. But I want to feel like I'm at 130%, not 80%. I'll probably return to vyvanse, just much lower doses than I used to be prescribed, and see how that shakes out. It's hard for people without this disorder to really appreciate the implications. I just lost a best friend last year over his toxic behavior and insensitivity around what he believes is a made-up disease, despite overwhelming evidence for a genetic explanation involving reduced dopamine uptake.
    - localghost3000 2y ago
      Dude that sucks on your friend. I feel you. I’ve lost a lot of people for the same reason. It’s hard for people to accept that it’s not a moral failing. All I can say is that the ones who really matter will try to meet you halfway. I too am high functioning and have a system that mostly works for keeping food on the table and the lights on. Professionally I’m doing great in fact. That said, a lot of personal stuff has fallen through the cracks and continues to. Hence the meds. I’m also working with a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD and it’s been really helpful. Highly recommend.

taneq 2y ago

After decades of frustration it turns out that 'discipline' and 'motivation' are available from the local chemist. You're not actually a bad person. Store bought is fine. You might even find that things like to-do lists and calendars, which everyone always told you to try 'because they make it easier', suddenly actually work for you. Not meditation, though. F**k that.

nuancebydefault 2y ago
Little pills make a universe of difference.
FuckButtons 2y ago
Almost, the ones you can get from the chemist are kind of a blunt instrument unlike the ones normal people get, since it just elevates the dopamine levels in the brain continuously, rather than in response to stimuli.

viccis 2y ago

I think I'm gonna try for an official diagnosis soon. It's bad enough that it has been giving me issues for years, but I had the benefit of a very low stress easy job. I've switched to a much more rewarding and challenging job, but have found out the hard way that living with ADHD has completely burned out any drive I had, so I need to get it sorted out before I run out of runway.

thoughtFrame 2y ago

Can you explain how ADHD and things being hard in the way you describe are connected? I don't see the connection, but if it's the case, I should go see a doctor...

FuckButtons 2y ago
At a very high level, the answer is Dopamine. Normal peoples brains have a ready supply of it available and their brains generate some in preparation for doing a task and then continue to generate more as they keep working on things, this is the task positive reward loop keeping the brain focused. For people with adhd, this entire feedback loop is more or less fucked. You don’t get dopamine as you start a task, you don’t get it when you persist with a task, and you don’t get it when you complete a task. So getting things done basically provides no reward, as a result all you get is the negatives from doing the thing, it tires you out and depletes the dopamine reserves you do have available.
ahaferburg 2y ago
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40273239 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40273239