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You are just above average social, or maybe even a bit extroverted and as you mention you need to vent out but not have company to do so. Ie I am the opposite,

by jajko 2y ago

You are just above average social, or maybe even a bit extroverted and as you mention you need to vent out but not have company to do so. Ie I am the opposite, no need to upload all the daily crap unto others, I deal with it on my own ie via long evening/forest walks, workouts and various sports, smoking weed sometimes (and mixing with long walks). Its tiring to be mostly on receiving end, either there is a lot of negative stuff being unloaded unto you, or people are hopeless in some basic situations and can't speak up or generally help themselves or similar, and there is very little I can actually help with. What is important for long term stable relationships is to have them balanced, give what you take in similar if not same ways, and not be a semi-constant source of negativity/complaints, everybody has their limit. The shit I've been told from some of my close folks, without ever asking or wanting to hear that... I would never bother them with such crap, its often borderline rude, and usually there is 0 I can do just listen or stop the whole circus.

deinonychus 2y ago
As a suspected introvert, I really love sitting down and hearing about my partner’s day, but this is really crucial: >Its tiring to be mostly on receiving end, either there is a lot of negative stuff being unloaded unto you, or people are hopeless in some basic situations and can't speak up or generally help themselves or similar, and there is very little I can actually help with. I’m sure OP is wonderful and I don’t want to make assumptions about them, but I’d hate to do this with someone who is really negative and finds too many things to complain about. The other thing you mentioned is that if you’re a certain type of listener, it is an exhaustible skill to engage with so many “i need comfort not solutions” type stories and conversations.
- TeMPOraL 2y ago
  > it is an exhaustible skill to engage with so many “i need comfort not solutions” type stories and conversations. Very much this. I'm in a similar situation myself, and I noticed at some point I started mentally begging for any of the complaint to be something solvable, because I'm running empty on comfort. It's especially hard when you heard the exact same complaint for like 5 times in the last two weeks; comforting stops feeling sincere just by sheer repetition.

by jajko 2y ago

deinonychus 2y ago

As a suspected introvert, I really love sitting down and hearing about my partner’s day, but this is really crucial: >Its tiring to be mostly on receiving end, either there is a lot of negative stuff being unloaded unto you, or people are hopeless in some basic situations and can't speak up or generally help themselves or similar, and there is very little I can actually help with. I’m sure OP is wonderful and I don’t want to make assumptions about them, but I’d hate to do this with someone who is really negative and finds too many things to complain about. The other thing you mentioned is that if you’re a certain type of listener, it is an exhaustible skill to engage with so many “i need comfort not solutions” type stories and conversations.

TeMPOraL 2y ago
> it is an exhaustible skill to engage with so many “i need comfort not solutions” type stories and conversations. Very much this. I'm in a similar situation myself, and I noticed at some point I started mentally begging for any of the complaint to be something solvable, because I'm running empty on comfort. It's especially hard when you heard the exact same complaint for like 5 times in the last two weeks; comforting stops feeling sincere just by sheer repetition.