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> Why would anyone want to have kids today? I'm gradually learning through experience and anecdotes that most women seem to have an innate biological drive to

> Why would anyone want to have kids today? I'm gradually learning through experience and anecdotes that most women seem to have an innate biological drive to procreate, which is separate from sex drive. I think that's the main reason.

mensetmanusman 2y ago
The drive to procreate is the sex drive, we only recently decided to decouple them in abstraction due to technology.
- GordonS 2y ago
  I'm not sure that's true; it's possible for a woman to desperately want a baby, but still have a low libido and have little interest in sex just for fun.
  - mensetmanusman 2y ago
    Low libido is evolutionarily informed to also signal that now is not the right time to procreate. In this light, it’s not surprising that hormonal birth control, which tells the body it can’t have a baby now, very often reduces libido.
    - GordonS 2y ago
      Even without female birth control pills, it can be the case.
  - Detrytus 2y ago
    Yes, but usually one baby is enough to satisfy that drive, which is not enough to keep the population from shrinking. And recently some women decide to have 0 babies, and settle for a dog or cat instead. I've heard them using terms like "dog-child" or "cat-child", or "cross-species family" :)
    - mensetmanusman 2y ago
      Not usually, sometimes. The amount of ‘usually’ depends on the amount of hormone alteration happening, naturally or unnaturally.
  - willcipriano 2y ago
    Often a higher libido will be presented until the ink is dry on the marriage certificate and the first child is born and then suddenly drop off. Many such cases.
  - foobarbecue 2y ago
    Not just possible; I think it's common. Also looking at what women endure for IVF it's clear to me that the need to have a child to nurture is often extremely powerful.
foobarbecue 2y ago
Hunh, statistically, I seem to be wrong: more men than women want kids https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/#:~:text=When%20asked%20about%20having%20children,45%25)%20say%20the%20same https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-you....
- silverquiet 2y ago
  I'm surprised by that as well, though speaking as a man, I much prefer my part in the reproductive process; squeezing an infant's head out of any part of my body or getting gutted by a surgeon does not look enticing. One interesting thing I learned though - when men think of children, they imagine them around four or five, but women tend to think of them around a year old (and again this tracks with my experience), which does make me think women "want babies".

mensetmanusman 2y ago

The drive to procreate is the sex drive, we only recently decided to decouple them in abstraction due to technology.

GordonS 2y ago
I'm not sure that's true; it's possible for a woman to desperately want a baby, but still have a low libido and have little interest in sex just for fun.
- mensetmanusman 2y ago
  Low libido is evolutionarily informed to also signal that now is not the right time to procreate. In this light, it’s not surprising that hormonal birth control, which tells the body it can’t have a baby now, very often reduces libido.
  - GordonS 2y ago
    Even without female birth control pills, it can be the case.
- Detrytus 2y ago
  Yes, but usually one baby is enough to satisfy that drive, which is not enough to keep the population from shrinking. And recently some women decide to have 0 babies, and settle for a dog or cat instead. I've heard them using terms like "dog-child" or "cat-child", or "cross-species family" :)
  - mensetmanusman 2y ago
    Not usually, sometimes. The amount of ‘usually’ depends on the amount of hormone alteration happening, naturally or unnaturally.
- willcipriano 2y ago
  Often a higher libido will be presented until the ink is dry on the marriage certificate and the first child is born and then suddenly drop off. Many such cases.
- foobarbecue 2y ago
  Not just possible; I think it's common. Also looking at what women endure for IVF it's clear to me that the need to have a child to nurture is often extremely powerful.

foobarbecue 2y ago

Hunh, statistically, I seem to be wrong: more men than women want kids https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/#:~:text=When%20asked%20about%20having%20children,45%25)%20say%20the%20same https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-you....

silverquiet 2y ago
I'm surprised by that as well, though speaking as a man, I much prefer my part in the reproductive process; squeezing an infant's head out of any part of my body or getting gutted by a surgeon does not look enticing. One interesting thing I learned though - when men think of children, they imagine them around four or five, but women tend to think of them around a year old (and again this tracks with my experience), which does make me think women "want babies".